Page 58 of Minted

“Hey, champ. You getting ready?”

“I have no idea what to wear,” I say.

“You know, years and years ago, you made fun of me when I couldn’t figure out that I liked Seren.”

“I did?”

“You did. You threatened me, and you said you’d take her if I didn’t man up.”

“Well, sounds like I gave you good advice.”

Dave harrumphs. “I was getting all prepped to give you a hard time, but now that I’m thinking about it, I guess you did.”

“I did.”

“So, I’ll tell you this instead. I’m wearing a terribly ugly sweater that Seren found at a thrift store. It’s covered with slubs of all different colors. I look like a clown.”

“A well-loved clown,” I say.

“A well-loved clown with the single ugliest reindeer head you have ever seen emblazoned on the front of an already ugly sweater. That means that, no matter what you wear, it can’t be worse than what I’m wearing,” Dave says. “Come in foot pajamas, and you should still look pretty stylish.”

It’s not really advice, but it actually helps. “Thanks.” I hang up, feeling a little better. I pull out a dark green polo shirt, which looks at least a little festive, and then I grab some dress slacks and shoes. It might be a little too dressy, but after years of doing my most important work in a boardroom surrounded by hostile businesspeople, I feel safer when I’m dressed up.

Of course, by the time I leave, Lucky has both slobbered on and covered my pants with black and white hair, both colors of which show extremely well on grey slacks. Once I finally calm her down, I change to tan slacks. And then I have to change my shoes.

And finally, I’m ready.

At least, I’m as ready as I’m ever going to be. “Okay girl.” I crouch down. “Tonight, Dad’s going to war.” Lucky licks my face. “I need some luck, okay?” She licks me again. “This really bad villain who made Barbara cry, but who she clearly used to like, is going to show up and attack again.” She licks me all over, including the inside of my nose. I stand up, rinse off my face, and towel it down. “I’m going to make sure he can’t hurt her.”

Lucky whines like she understands, and she’s on my side.

“And hopefully, I’m going to convince her to date me instead.”

Lucky follows me to the door and cries when I leave. It feels like an auspicious send off. Sort of.

On the drive over, I listen to “Eye of the Tiger,” because it’s always been inspiring to me. I’m going to need to channel all of my best moxie for this moment, because the last time I tried to convince Barbara that I wanted to date her, she blew me off.

Seren clearly went all out at the cottage house for this last-minute party. The inn, as usual, looks amazing. It’s equal parts Christmas light and house. The holly bush hedges are covered in bright red berries. Large, festive wreaths are hung in every window.

But Seren didn’t stop there.

This year, there are smaller but even more festive wreaths hanging in the windows of their cottage house. They have bright plaid bows and little golden stars dangling from them. There’s a huge tree on the front lawn that’s covered in big, bright, blown-glass-looking ornaments that are probably plastic. They’re swaying in the wind.

I check my phone. Is it supposed to snow? It still says no, but the weather feels. . .frosty. I shiver just a bit as I step up to the front porch. The large bears holding presents are standing guard, as usual, with big smiles on their faces. And I can hear the swelling of human chatter mixed with Christmas music coming from just on the other side of the door.

I wonder whether James is already here.

I hope Barbara is.

It would be amazing if I could talk to her before he arrives, and then maybe we’d actually be dating when that idiot shows up.

It hits me then how upset I really should be. James doesn’t know it’s fake—me and Barbara. He thinks we’re really together, and he’s still coming tonight to try and win her back?

I should sock him on the nose.

But would Barbara tell him the truth? Would she get upset with me?

I feel a little like Lucky, pulling on the leash, but worried that my pulling will make my walking buddy mad. It gives me a little more empathy for her. Men really are the eager dogs of the dating world. If we didn’t have to think about what the person holding our leash would think, what kinds of crazy things would we do?

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