Page 8 of Minted

“I think he’s wrong,” I say. “Which makes it worse. But you’ll have to act more miserable than that to win the cake, Barbara. If that’s all you’ve got, I can beat you.”

“You can.” She sounds disbelieving.

“You’ve at least been married—and engaged that other time.”

“That lasted two months,” she says.

I shrug. “Regardless. I’ve never been either. Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

“Oh, please,” Seren says. “Nice try, but real pain is—”

“And it’s her cake, so she gets to decide.” Barbara’s leaning toward me, already gloating.

“Look,” I say. “There’s a reason Shakespeare has lasted the test of time. The man was brilliant, and—”

“Dude.” Dave shakes his head.

“Shakespeare?” Barbara’s laughing now. “That’s from Alfred, Lord Tennyson.”

“Who?” I ask, intentionally goading her more.

“Only the most famous poet of the Victorian Era.” Barbara looks way happier when she’s being smug. With her arms crossed under her chest, she doesn’t look like a sulking puppy any more, either. And all it took was one little intentional mis-attribution.

“Well, that Tennyson guy is also smart then, and that means I have the sadder case.”

“How about this?” Dave asks. “I’m offering this out of the goodness of my heart, because I’d like to toss you both out on your ear, you beggars.” He pats his stomach. “But as I’m officially on a diet, I’m willing to give you the leftover cake.” He points at me. “And you can have the leftover cobbler.” He points at Barbara.

“Swap those two and you have a deal,” I say.

“Wait, you don’t like cake?” Seren asks.

“No,” Barbara says. “He likes anything, but he knows that I loooove cake.”

I am rather chivalrous like that. “Now.” I lean toward her and point at the chair. “Sit.”

She listens, looking at me with a curious expression.

That’s how I take her completely by surprise. “Yoink.” I manage to snatch the bag right out of her hands. “Let’s see what you got.”

I’m not expecting to pull out a fifty-dollar Taco Bell gift card and a black beanie.

As soon as I start laughing, I realize I’ve made a mistake. Instead of laughing with me, Barbara looks embarrassed. “I’ve been working a lot, okay?”

I place the gift card and beanie back in the bag and hand them to her. “Sorry,” I say. “I think he’ll love it. What teenage boy doesn’t like Taco Bell?”

But she looks a little bit broken the rest of the night. Even when Killian comes in and opens her present and gushes and gushes, her eyes still don’t sparkle. When he opens mine and flips out, instead of feeling vindicated, I feel small.

I’m hiding in the corner, scrolling through my phone, when Dave leans against the bookcase next to me. “Dude.”

“What?”

“You’re forty, man. You should know more about women by now.”

“That’s rude,” I say. “I could have taken Seren from you back then, but I let you have her.”

Dave arches one eyebrow. “Let me have her? Or knew that she already liked me?”

“I’ve been looking for Mrs. Right ever since, but all I keep finding is Mrs. Right Now.”

---