Page 41 of The Lookback

The walkway into the gymnasium is decorated with a bunch of huge paper flowers—Denise knows her stuff—and I’m actually a little bit impressed with the enormous archway she made at the front entry. If I owned a camera of my own, it would be photo-worthy for sure.

“Wait,” someone says.

We spin around right as Chip snaps a photo with a large black camera. “Yearbook.”

Tommy blinks, probably trying to clear his vision, and then we turn to walk inside. At first, I’m worried it’ll be awkward. Everyone saw the scene in the cafeteria, and everyone knows Jed’s the prom prince and I’m the princess, but he yelled at me, and now I’m walking in with Tommy.

But before anyone can say a word, Tommy whirls me into the center of the room—the dance floor no one’s even using. I’m not sure whether I’m excited or horrified that it’s a slow song. That means he pulls me close to his body and we sway back and forth slowly. “So,” he says. “Tell me your biggest fear.”

“Fear?” I laugh. “Is that really a dance-floor conversation?”

He shrugs. “Why not?”

“How about you tell me your biggest dream? Let’s start there.”

“I want to see the world. The Taj Mahal. The Eiffel Tower. The Nile River.”

“Wow,” I say. “Really?”

He shrugs. “What about you?”

“That sounds pretty good,” I say. “I didn’t know enough to even know what things I’d want to see.”

“I’m sure my list will grow,” he says. “But for now, it’s a start.”

“Niagara Falls,” I say.

“Oh yeah?”

“Mom and Dad heard about it when they were emigrating, but. . .” I almost tell him they couldn’t travel up to see it, because they were busy dodging the paperwork trail that might have ended with Dad being drafted, but when they told me how sad they were to have missed it, I decided I’d like to go one day. A photo in front of the falls would have been nice, even if I was still in Mom’s belly.

I remember to shut up just in time to avoid that disclosure.

“I’ll add that one to my list, too. I hear it straddles the United States Canadian border, so that’s kind of cool.”

“Traveling is fine,” I say. “As long as I have a safe, comfortable home to return to. My biggest fear is winding up all alone.”

His eyes are sad, and he misses a beat on the song. “Why would you ever wind up alone?”

“Mom and Dad are all I have. They left their family on another continent, so if they die. . .” I shrug. “That’s it.”

“You’ll never be alone, Amanda Saddler. Never.”

It’s not a promise he can really make. Unless. . .

He leaves when the song ends to grab us something to drink, and they announce the prom court. Of course, Jed doesn’t show up. No shock there. I didn’t think he would, but apparently other people are surprised.

I pose for some yearbook photos, and then I’m headed down the stairs when I hear my name. I freeze, and I realize it’s coming from just around the corner. I can’t see the speakers, but the person who said my name has a very distinctive voice. It’s the poor kid whom Jed cut off in line that day, Nicholas Kensey.

“—Mandy’s the fox in our class. C’mon man. There’s no way you don’t like her.”

“I’m just helping a friend,” Tommy says.

“But you stood up to Jed for her.” Nicholas whistles. “He’s straight scary, so you had to think you were gonna. . .”

There’s some scuffling sound. “Listen, I was doing a favor for a friend who needed someone by her side, and that’s it. If I hear you so much asbreatheanything about me liking her, I’ll end you. Got it?”

Nicholas has always been a little blunt, but I’m the real idiot here. Tommy couldn’t have been clearer that night after the play, and here I was, thinking maybe we could be more. Again.

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