Page 10 of No Kind Words

We don’t plan to open for a few weeks. The practice is so outdated I want to get the whole place remodelled first. I want a whole new experience for the customer, and I need to employ a new receptionist, seeing as the old one decided to retire when Mr Gurney passed away.

Stacey told me that Drew, her brother, still lives in Calston Cove and is a builder. No surprise. He was always into that kind of shit at school. I check out his website. The reviews all sing his praises, and some of the photographs are impressive, including the one of the old Mill House we all used to hang out in. He’s at the top of my list of people to call tomorrow.

“Come on, girl. Time to stretch your legs,” I say to Isla, who jumps out of the back of the car, and just like any other labrador, she springs around with all the energy and enthusiasm of a puppy. I could do with some fresh air and stretch my legs, my whole body really. Eight hours in a car is not good for my back. Maeve is carrying the cat basket inside. “I’m going to take Isla for a walk,” I call back to her.

After attaching Isla’s lead to her collar, I wander down the street into the town that brings back many memories. The conscious decision not to think of any negative parts of my past allows me to look at my surroundings with new and eager eyes, ready to make new memories. It only takes me five minutes to come out of the small housing estate and onto the high street leading down to the beach. Isla gives a yip of excitement and bounces towards the steps.

As we reach the row of cars parked in front of the steps down to the beach, we’re forced to stop and allow a group of ten runners to pass. Why are people out running on a cold early November night? I let my gaze roam over their faces. I get some flashes of recognition as well as a couple of curious glances. But before I can put any names to the faces, they’re speeding up and sprinting away from me. The pathway is clear for us to cross, and we head down to the beach.

For the next ten minutes, I let Isla race around. She darts down to the sea and back again, barking happily at me, wagging her tail frantically the whole time. We need to wrap it up when it’s too cold to hang around any longer. “Come on, girl. Let’s go home to get warm.”

The walk back is quicker as rain decides to join the cold wind. We’re both ready for a warm house and a towel to dry off.

“I’ve ordered a pizza,” Maeve says as we walk back through the door. “It will be twenty minutes.”

“Great, thanks. I’m going to get her fed, then jump into the shower.”

As I walk down the stairs, the doorbell buzzes. “I’ll get it,” I say over Isla’s enthusiastic barking.

The kid at the door smiles politely and hands over the box of excessively greasy, carb-loaded meat and cheese delight. My stomach rumbles as I carry it through to the kitchen. Maeve has a wad of kitchen roll ready on the table. She knows, like me, that pizza tastes better straight from the box.

“Do we have a plan for tomorrow?” Maeve asks around a huge bite.

I nod, swallowing my food. “Yep, first I want to get a good look around the surgery and the cottage, then call the builder. He’s a guy I knew from before. I want to see if and when he can start.”

“I think being back here is going to be good for you, Jet.”

I sure hope she’s right.

As we drive up to the surgery, excitement fills me. All kinds of ideas I want for the practice are cannoning through my head. I’ve researched equipment to update some of the older pieces and budgeted how much I need for this place, but not so much for the cottage. This is where I’ll need a builder’s eye, someone with experience in redeveloping houses.

I park in front of the cottage, and as Drew is nowhere in sight, I take my time to look around it again. When I first came here, I hadn’t paid too much attention. My brain was running a mile a minute trying to work out that not only was it viable, but that it also wasn’t pure madness coming back to a place that had more bad memories than good. Even the ones of Ben were tarnished by the pain from my arsehole sperm donor as well as his lack of contact. I never saw or heard from him again. His talks of love and forever were just that—all talk. It was the easiest way to get me naked.

The rumble of an engine breaks through my bad memories, bringing me back to the present. I’ve been wondering if I’ll recognise Drew, but when he steps out of the cab of his truck, I have no doubt it’s him. The only difference is the muscles and beard; the bright, happy eyes and the easy smile haven’t changed. He shakes his head as he walks towards me.

“You know, I thought Stacey was pulling my leg when she said she’s seen you. Then Ivan said the same, so I had to believe it. I’ve gotta say I never thought I’d see you again. Not after the way you just disappeared. You look good, Jethro. It’s good to have you back again.”

“Thanks. It’s a surprise for me too, but here I am. And from the look of this cottage, I’m going to need your help and expertise. Are you available for work?” I hate that I sound nervous, that I’m worried he won’t want to work for me after all this time. I don’t want to ask him for anyone else’s number if he can’t do this.

“I’m sure I can help. You wanna show me what it’s like in there? William Gurney has been the vet here forever, and if it’s anything like him, it will be pristine but outdated by a fair few decades. You must remember him.”

I do remember him, mainly because my father would always argue the bill. The old miser never wanted to pay full price. Him leaving his money to me when he died was a complete shock. I thought I would’ve been disinherited the moment I left the farm. But I took it and put the farm up for sale. I never wanted to set foot on that land ever again. Giving the money to the Terrence Higgins Trust was one of my most satisfying moments. A real kick in the teeth to the homophobic arsehole.

“Yeah, I remember him. He was a good man.” I put the key in the lock and twist it. The door swings open easily. The floor is littered with takeaway pizza and Farm Food leaflets, but past that, it looks clean and tidy. “Your sister gave me a quick tour of the place, but it was all such a rushed weekend I didn’t take much in.”

I let Drew enter ahead of me. He’ll have a better idea of what can be done with the place. The cottage has two small rooms and the kitchen downstairs. The stairs to the first floor are to the right in the small hallway. The upstairs is the same layout, only with two bedrooms and a bathroom. I try to visualise what can be done here, but I don’t have much imagination when it comes to house renovations. The one thing I do like, though, is that it has a lot of space. I’m a couple of inches over six feet and don’t want to bump my head as I walk through the low doorways. Perhaps the walls can be knocked down to make one space.

“What do you think?” I step up next to him. “I’d like to open it up, get more space and light in. The doorways aren’t friendly to anyone tall, so the less of them, the better.”

“You’ve changed, Jethro. I’m not sure I would’ve recognised you. How long has it been? I mean, one minute you were here, the next you disappeared, and no one knew where you’d gone. We were all concerned. Benny was the worst. He was sure something bad had happened.”

The easy way he says Ben’s name makes my stomach turn. It’s as if Drew knows Ben. I’d heard the shouting, my dad threatening to call the police. My mum wouldn’t say who it was. I had hoped it was Ben. At the time, I thought he’d see what was happening at my place and get someone around on a welfare check. He was twenty-five after all, with much more life experience. But no. Nothing. Instead of trading in my phone when I upgraded, I’d kept it in case he called. My dad took it off me, and I only got it back when he ordered me to get the train out of Calston Cove.

I still remember Dad’s final words to me. “Don’t come back until you change your perverted ways.” He slammed the door in my face. Mum was crying the whole way to the station, but she never stood up for me. Her tear-stained cheeks as I hauled my luggage onto the train is the last memory I have of her.

Drew clears his throat.

Shit, he’s waiting for an answer. “Um.” I cough, erasing any trace of emotion I may have. “It’s been fifteen years. Honestly, Drew, I never planned to come back here again.”

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