Page 3 of No Kind Words

I don’t, though. I go as often as I can, and each time she turns me away. Until one day when she opens the door, her eyes are rimmed red as if she’s been crying. “Oh, Benny, don’t come back. He’s not here.”

This time I believe her. “Did he say anything, give you anything for me?”

Her expression changes, indecision flashing in her eyes. “N…no, no, I’m sorry.”

And there it is. My first love left without a word. The only man I was Ben to has gone. What do I do now?

Why am I even considering this? After fifteen years of staying away from the place where has the interest in it come from? I look over the details of the practice and property for the tenth time. It’s a stupid idea, but I can’t switch off the yearning I have to go home.

“That’s the last of them, Jet.” Maeve, my vet nurse, stands up from her desk and stretches her arms above her head. She’s a beautiful woman. Her thick, long, dark auburn hair shows off her Scottish heritage. “Do you want me to lock up tonight?”

“Hmm?” I look up from my laptop. Maeve looks at me expectantly. What did she ask? “Oh, sorry. No, you can go. I’ve got some work to finish up. I’ll do the rounds on the pens.”

“You’ve been staring at that same screen for two days now. Are you going to share what’s so interesting about it?” Before I can close the page down, Maeve leans over my shoulder. “Ooh, that’s a pretty town. Are you thinking of going on holiday?”

I close my laptop and take a deep breath before I answer so I don’t snap. “Looks can be deceiving.” It still comes out churlish. “I’m sorry. That was rude. It’s Calston Cove. I grew up there. It wasn’t a happy place.”

“So why look at it?” Maeve is a good friend. She’s worked with me since I graduated and started to work here. “Is it why you never talk about your family?”

“My father died years ago, but his solicitor recently contacted me that someone has bought his property, and he wanted my bank details to send the money from the sale. It’s a farm and has been empty for a long time, so much so I’d forgotten all about it.”

“Oh, I guess saying sorry for your loss is unnecessary. What have you decided to do?”

“I’m giving it to the Terrence Higgins Trust. Giving it to a charity he would’ve hated is very satisfying. But more to the point, I’m looking at it because there is a veterinary practice for sale. Now all the demons have been laid to rest I’m tempted to return home.” There’s still one demon left for me to face, but I doubt very much it wants to see me. Ben never contacted me.

“You want to leave here?” Shock is written all over her face. I’m not surprised, though. I haven’t given any indication of leaving. I love my job and the people I work with.

Honestly, I haven’t thought of leaving, and I sure as shit haven’t had any inclination to go back to Calston Cove. I didn’t go to my parents’ funerals. My mother died first. I never understood why she stayed with my father. He bullied her as much as he did me. I don’t think he was physically violent to her, but words can hurt almost as much as a leather belt. Why didn’t she stick up for me all the countless times before that night? What did he threaten her with?

I’m thirty-three and a grown-arsed man. There are no more nightmares and no one to call me out for being gay. Maybe it is time to go and see what’s changed down there. I doubt someone will recognise me. I’m different from the eighteen-year-old kid who left with a couple of suitcases and nothing else.

“You know, I’ll come with you. If you leave, that is. I can’t imagine working with anyone else. And you may want a friend with you, someone who’s got your back.”

“What? No, I wouldn’t ask you to do that. You’ve got all your family here. It’s over five hundred miles away.” After everything that happened, I chose Edinburgh. I wanted to be as far away from home as possible. It was the only time my mother stood up to him, insisting he paid all the tuition fees. His condition was I never came back. That was something I was more than happy to agree to.

“You’re not asking. I’m ready for something and somewhere new. If not down there, then maybe somewhere else.”

This surprises me, and the look on her face tells me she’s seen it. “Are you thinking of leaving?” She hasn’t shown any signs of wanting to leave, that she’s had enough of being here.

“No, but I’m not interested in working with anyone else, so if you go, so do I. You’re stuck with me, mister, so suck it up.” She swats my shoulder light-heartedly.

I look back at the photograph. The river with the black swans runs through the centre of the town, along the pub where I had my first legal drink. The rest of the shops are new. I don’t recognise any of them, but they all look smart. It could be photoshopped and probably is with the cloudless cerulean sky as the background.

“Are you busy this weekend?” I already know the answer. She has nothing to do. It’s been the same since she broke up with the last loser boyfriend.

“Nope.” She pops thePand grins. “Are we going on a road trip?”

“It’s too far to drive for a weekend. I’ll see if I can get a flight to either Plymouth or Exeter. We can hire a car.” An enthusiasm I wasn’t expecting bubbles up inside me. “What do you say?”

“I say hell yeah!” She hugs me from behind. “Do you want me to sort out accommodation?”

“Um, yeah, I suppose so. I’m sure there are plenty of Airbnb rentals. We’re out of season, so it should be easy enough.”

“’Kay, see you tomorrow.” She leaves. I wait until she hops into her car and drives away, then log on to look for flights. It doesn’t take long to book two return tickets and a hire car. With that done, I shut down my laptop and do the rounds on the overnight guests. It’s an easy walk-through with only one grumpy cat that gives me an evil look, but I scratch behind her ear all the same.

I check all the doors are locked and set the alarm, then take the short walk to the cottage that came with the job. A huddled shape lies on the porch but sits up when I approach.

“Hey, Roddy, what’s going on? I haven’t seen you for a while.”

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