Page 9 of No Kind Words

All the talk of Jethro leaving without saying goodbye to any of his friends soon died down. I’d wanted tell them what had happened. I wanted to shout out that he was mine, that I loved him, that it was all down to his father, but it would’ve been pointless. It seemed we’d kept our secret a little too well.

Missing him became a part of my life. I was never brave enough to look him up. My annoying inner voice chimes up.Oh, be quiet. I’ve called it self-preservation because I didn’t want my heart broken a second time when I found him married with children. I’ve compared every man to him, which now, at my age, is just dumb.

I promised my mother I would move on, that living half a life is no life at all. She would know. She loved my father deeply, and they had a full and happy life, but when my dad passed, she followed only weeks later. I have everything I want professionally. I love my job, am proud of the café, but coming home to an empty house is getting old. When Jethro disappeared, I tried to get over him and start over. Accepted some dates when I was asked. I’ve even thought of joining a dating site again, but after Jamie, that’s not my idea of fun.

But why is he here?

It’s not until the next day that I get my answer. The pub is buzzing with the usual crowd, minus the ones with children. As I grab my pint and walk to our usual corner, Trent and Merlin are the first to greet me.

Stacey stops in the middle of a story and looks at me. “Benny, you must remember Jethro Palmer, right? He just fell off the face of the earth years ago, didn’t he?”

“Yeah, I remember him.” I hear the croak in my voice, but it seems to go unnoticed by the others, and I take a long swallow of my beer.

“Well.” She does a drum roll on the table. “He came back, flew down from Edinburgh. He’s totally different now and so bloody fit.”

“What was he doing back here? It’s not like he’s got any family anymore, and he didn’t show up when his parents died,” Melanie says, but there’s no malice in her words. They all know what a wanker his dad was. It was only me who knew how violent he was, how he was with Jethro and the threats he made to me.

“Mr Gurney’s veterinary practice. It’s up for sale. He’s interested in buying it. He only came for the weekend, but I think he’s serious about it.”

“Did he come by himself?” I know the answer, but Stacey may have more knowledge of who she was.

“No, he was with a woman, very nice, pretty lady. She’s just his friend, though. They work together. I think she’ll come with him if he does buy it. Honestly, I always thought he was gay.”

Melanie nods. “Me too. When are we going to get any bloody straight guys moving here?” she grumbles light-heartedly.

I finish my pint and say goodnight, stating my early start as my reason. When all I can think about is that Jethro could finally be coming home.

I don’t know how to process that idea.

“It’s a very promising opportunity and, looking at all the numbers, a financial one too. I would be surprised if your offer is not accepted.” My accountant looks over the proposal and the confirmation from the bank of the loan. “Are you ready to move to the other end of the country? It seems to have come out of the blue.”

Should I tell him? It will lead to more questions. But if I get my offer accepted, especially after the first was turned down, I won’t be seeing him again. “I grew up there.”

Colin raises an eyebrow. I shouldn’t have expected anything else. In all the years I’ve known him, I’ve never mentioned my childhood. Very few people know my past. It’s so far behind me in years as well as memories. The only time I go back there in my mind is when I think of Ben and the way he made me feel, how one touch from him had me wanting so much more. I gave it to him. I gave him everything, including my heart. For the first couple of years at university, I tried to screw him out of my head, but he wouldn’t leave. No one has ever made me feel the way he did. Even now, it’s him I imagine when I’m alone in bed.

“I best get going. Thanks for your help, Col.” I stand and take the folder he offers.

“Good luck, and don’t go without us having a pint.” He grins.

As I walk briskly down the street to the car park, my phone rings. The Scottish winter wind is cruel as it whips around my ears and neck. “Hello.” I have to raise my voice over the wind.

“Jethro, it’s Stacey.”

I stop in the middle of the pavement. Someone has to dodge me, grumbling as they pass. I nip into a lane between two shops to get out of the cold. “Hi.” I don’t want to ask if my offer has been refused. She can let me down gently.

“I have news. Your offer has been accepted. Isn’t that great?” I can hear the smile in her voice. It warms me through the freezing weather.

“Really? Oh my god, Stacey, that’s more than great news. Wow!” I shove my free hand through my hair, knocking off the beanie I pulled on outside Colin’s office. “What do I have to do next?”

She runs through the procedure and timeline of the sale to go through smoothly. When we end the call with a promise of getting back in touch tomorrow, my cheeks hurt from smiling.

The smile is still on my face when I walk back into the surgery building and give Maeve a thumbs up. She does a little squee. The partners and the staff have been supportive of my decision to move on. I think they were surprised I’d stayed so long. It’s been a good place to start. I’ve learnt so much away from the university teachings.

Now it’s time to face my demons and maybe punch them in the throat.

I give Maeve the option of flying down again, but she chooses to drive with me. She sold her car, which was so old it wouldn’t make the long journey. For the first one hundred and fifty miles, her cat is yowling, but then it settles down, and the trip is going uneventful. Isla, my black lab, is getting bored from looking out the window and falls asleep in the back seat.

Finally, we arrive in Calston Cove. We’re staying at Ivan’s Airbnb again until the work on the little cottage that came with the practice is ready for habitation. It’s been Gurney’s home for a long time and dated. I haven’t seen it yet, but it can wait until tomorrow.

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