Page 1 of Roman

PROLOGUE

“One day I’m going to turn into a dolphin and swim away.” Her little toes dig into the sand as the tide rolls in and out.

“A dolphin? Why be a dolphin when you could be a shark?” I ask making her giggle.

“Roman, why do you always have to be so bad?” She lays her back onto the sand with her knees bent. “Sharks are cool and all, but did you know a dolphin can kill a shark?”

“You have always been the smarter one.” A definite understatement. While I have always struggled in school, my sister surpassed everyone in our class. Now at thirteen she should be on the fast track to graduating then going to college to be a doctor or something. Only she won’t be. And it’s all my fault.

“You are smart too. Don’t sell yourself short.”

“Maybe that call will come. Maybe there is someone out there who-”

“Stop it,” she snaps, “I told you we were done talking about it. I don’t want my last days to be like that. Things happen for a reason.” Her and that stupid line.

“Well, whatever this fucking reason is I don’t care. It’s bullshit. We are twins for fuck’s sake. Why the fuck can’t you just take mine? You are the better one. You-”

“I said stop it Roman!” she gets up from the sand and brushes the small pebbles that have stuck to her gown away. “I don’t want you talking like that. I won’t listen to it anymore.”

“Dad agrees. I heard him telling mom after the doctors put you on the list. He’d rather it be me than you.” She drops her chin and shakes her head, a small tear falling from the corner of her eye. It’s not normal for my sister to cry. Even when the doctors told her that her heart failure could not be corrected and that she would need to go on the transplant list, over a year ago, she didn’t cry.

Her long dark hair drops down into her face and with trembling hands I reach out and pull her to my chest. Her small body has shrunk so much in the last few months, she feels like nothing in my arms. “You cannot stay here when I’m gone. He will destroy you. Promise me? Promise me you will leave after today? Take the money we have saved and find a way to get off this island. I don’t care where you go just don’t stay here,” she pleads with me.

“I will try.”

“Don’t just try. Do it. Do it for me.” I tighten my grip on her and let the tears I’m holding in fall freely. She is in her hospital gown with a pair of scrub pants on. I snuck her out of the hospital early this morning so she could come and watch the sunrise on the beach one last time. It’s always been her favorite thing to do.

“I don’t think I can let you do this. What if they find a match for you today? How can I live with myself if I let you just walk out there, never to be seen again.” Shaking my head, I pull away. “No, I can’t. I can’t do this.”

“You can. And you will.” She wobbles a little and nearly falls to the ground. “I can’t take another night like before. It’s too much. I want to be done. And if they do find a heart it can go to someone else who needs it more. Who knows if I would even be able to keep it beating? My body rejected the last one and now here I am. Waiting for another one. I had my shot, and I blew it.” She steps back a little and pulls out the scissors from her gown. “I made my decision. Please support it.”

“I want you to know it’s a bullshit decision.” She laughs at my words.

“Yeah, I know. Now help me over to the water.” The first hues of the sunrise have started to chase away the moon now and with each passing second I know I’m getting closer and closer to losing my twin sister. My other half will no longer be in this world and I don’t know how I’m going to find the strength to live without her. I think she got everything when we were created. The smart, the courage, the understanding, the compassion. I have none of those. All I have is her and she is about to leave me.

Step by step we start to wade out into the ocean. The push and pull of the waves suck our feet into the sand when we stop, waist-high in the water. My sister pulls a cord from underneath her gown and uses the scissors to cut it in half. The VAD that was pumping blood through her heart starts beeping until it’s drowned out by the water. “Hold me only for a moment then let me go please.” With tears in my eyes, I try to do as she says, walking us even further from the shore as I feel her body grow even weaker. “I love you Roman.” She says as her heart slowly stops beating in her chest.

This is the part where I disobey my sister’s carefully thought-out plan to die in peace. I don’t let her drift off into the ocean like she wanted me to. Instead, I carry her back to shore and we both sit there for some time. Well into the morning. Until our father shows up.

Any of those moments have been washed from memory. I refused to let the thoughts of him beating me nearly to death for carrying out my sister’s dying wishes taint the day she died. I should have listened to her when she told me to leave. It took too many years and too many beatings I thought I deserved to get off that island and find a home with the Riders. So many that even now I still believe every word he said to me. Every single damn word.

Failure.

Selfish.

Killer.

I became every one of those things.

1

Roman

The movement to my side pulls me from the whiskey-induced coma I attempted to drink myself into. Cracking my eyes open I catch a glimpse of blond hair as whoever was in my bed gets up from the mattress. I don’t remember her name. One of the new girls I think. “See you around Roman.” The blonde softly closes my bedroom door after picking her clothes up off the floor. I let out a groan as I flip over to my stomach and push my hands up underneath my pillow. The underside stays cool for only a moment and I settle into the position in an attempt to fall back asleep. Only I don’t get the fucking chance.

Pounding on my door breaks whatever hold sleep still had on me, the shouting only solidifies it. “Roman wake the fuck up man!” Poe, one of my brothers yells from the other side of the door.

“Wake the fuck up asshole.”Thatwas Show. If that motherfucker is here in the clubhouse yelling at me something must be up. I’m climbing out of bed in an instant. Not giving two fucks I’m completely butt ass naked.

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