Page 17 of Roman

“Will you?”

“No Roman, I’m not sure I will be, because when you leave it’s most likely going to break her heart and I would rather it happen now than when she is more attached to you,” I say hoping that I don’t sound as shaky as I feel.

“I deserve that.” He nods and steps closer to me. “Probably deserve a whole hell of a lot more from you.”

“Probably,” I whisper as he comes even closer.

“I’ve been a prick to you since day one and you still gave me the time of day.” The scent of leather fills my nose as he leans in. “Why?”

“Why?” I pull back just enough to peer up at him. He stands over me, hovering.

“Yeah. Why? Fuck knows I don’t deserve your….” He pauses biting his lip.

“Love?” I supply.

“Loving me is impossible,” he breathes.

“You sure try to make it impossible. But, Roman?” my hand connects with his face in a soft stroke down his cheek. “I found it impossible not to.” With that, he leans down and places a soft kiss on my lips. One I have been dying years for.

“Pria,” he rasps between kisses, threading his hands through my hair to pull me closer. “Damn it I missed you.” His confession sparks a bolt of lightning throughout me and I find myself pulling back.

“Why Roman? Why did you do it? You took the bar from me. Hell, you used the club to do it. How could you do something like that?” I can’t go ahead any further if he won’t level with me. Tell me why he did what he did.

“Fuck Pria. I can’t.” His hands drag across his face as he steps back further away from me.

“Complete bullshit. You know you are just refusing to level with me.” I turn to leave but he stops me.

“You want to know why? I needed you gone. Are you happy? You have your answer after all these years. I got the bar taken from you just for the simple fact I wanted you to leave Rhino and never come back,” he snaps at me causing a deep pit of anguish to open up in my heart.

“Why?” The question is a soft whisper. I don’t even think he hears it.

He lets out a defeated sigh. “I was ready to give in to it. Give in to us but then you told me about… That you lost the baby.” His shoulders drop. “It just solidified what I have always known my whole life. Nothing good comes from me.”

“Whoever has you believing that about yourself is wrong. Sometimes bad things happen. It doesn’t have anything to do with what kind of person you are.” I want so much to go to him but I know he will only pull away. This child-like vulnerability he is showing right now is a side I have never seen before. “And I can’t have you saying that nothing good comes from you because Rhylee came from you.”

“Which is why I should-”

“No,” I cut him off, “you don’t get to pull your ‘I need to push you away to keep you safe’ bullshit on me anymore. And that is exactly what it is Roman. Bullshit. You are just being a coward.” If that gets to him it doesn’t reflect on his features. Instead, he shakes his head and turns to leave the room.

“Someone will be bringing your car down here in a few days. I will leave when they get here.” With that, he walks out the front door of the apartment.

18

Roman

The bright green frisbee flings across the beach slicing through the wind. Rhylee jumps up and barely catches it. When she hits the sand, she shoots me one of those smiles that have become something I hold close. Something I will take home with me when I leave tomorrow. I’ve been here two days. Pria and I have hardly said more than three words to each other since she blew up at me. I don’t blame her either. In the meantime, I have been spending as much time with my daughter as I can. I’ve even went with her to one of her appointments. She still hasn’t said a word about her time with the kidnappers to either me or Pria, but I will wait. Sooner or later, she will open up. She just needs the time.

She flings the frisbee back to me and it hits me right in the damn chest. “Pay attention Dad!” she laughs as she comes closer, pausing for a second as it registers what she just called me. The name much like the frisbee hits me in the chest only it leaves behind something warm instead of painful.

I give her a smile and grab the frisbee off the sand before it blows away. “I told you I sucked at this.” She laughs at me then bounds up to wrap her arms around me. The kid is a hugger. Something I have never been but each and every time she does it, I find myself relaxing into the affection. “Let’s get back to the apartment. It’s getting dark out.”

“Do you really have to leave tomorrow?’ she pouts at me as we start walking back.

“I have things I need to get back to, but I will talk to your mom about visiting, promise.” It’s a promise I intend to keep. Now that I know her, I can’t leave her without knowing I will see her again. “Maybe you can come hang out a couple times during the summer. I don’t want you missing any more school than you already have.” She has gotten a pass so far but next week I’m told she will be going back.

“Winter break is in a couple of weeks. Maybe we can come to the clubhouse for that?” she supplies.

“I will see what your mom says kid.” She lets it go for now but as soon as we step through the front door, she is all over Pria. “I don’t see why it would be a problem. I get a whole week off of school. And I want to actually see snow on Christmas.” I can’t help but laugh, only I’m sure to hide it from Pria.

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