Page 9 of Roman

“No. I don’t want to hear your explanations Pria. Just let it be. When all this shit is over, we can hash things out. Right now, I have one focus and that is finding her.”

She nods then sucks in a deep breath. “I just want you to know I never lied to you back then. When I told you I had lost the baby I wasn’t lying.”

Tears stream down her face as she tries to gulp in the air escaping her lungs. “It’s for the best. The last thing I need is a baby.”

Her red-rimmed gaze meets mine and something visibly breaks in her. I’m such an asshole. “How could you say something like that?”

“It’s true. I would be a shit father. Believe me, you lucked out losing it.” I pull myself up from the table and force myself to stand as straight as possible so I don’t let her see how much I would rather be holding her than pushing her further away. “Everything I touch is tainted. This is just proof that you should stay away.” I shrug and start toward the door pretending that I don’t hear her sobbing as I close it behind me. When I get outside, I drop down to the ground and cradle my head in my hands. For only a moment I let the pain wash over me, hold me close, and tear me apart all at the same time.

“I didn’t think you were lying.” I let out a breath and grip the handles harder.

“I-”

“Pria. I don’t want to discuss it. I can’t. I need all of my focus on the task at hand. So just leave me the fuck alone. Go pester Steven if you need to annoy someone,” I choke out the words and hide the wince when she stomps off back below deck. As much as I want to follow after her and tell her I didn’t mean a word of it, of anything I ever told her, I hold tighter to the wheel and anchor myself to the helm.

All I have ever done is hurt that woman and somehow, she always kept coming back for more. Even now she is trying to see the best in me when all I let her see is the bad. The man who doesn’t deserve all the second and third, hell hundredth, chances she gives me. There isn’t a single one of them I deserve. There was that one moment I let myself believe that there could be a future. I got lost in her. In the illusion of it all. I crawled in deep and stayed for far too long, ruining her in the process. That is after all, what I do. I ruin things.People. I break them into tiny little pieces of themselves and if that isn’t enough, I crush those pieces underneath my boot so there is no chance of getting back up again. Only Pria always seemed to put herself back together and come back stronger. Each time I would deliberately try and hurt her she would hurt me back harder. When I finally did get her to give up all I wanted was for her to come walking back into my life and tell me how big of an ass hole I was being, like she always did. Only I had hit too close to home when I got the bar taken away from her. I knew how much that meant and I took it away. I don’t regret it because with her leaving town I knew she would be safe. Safe from me. If she were gone, I couldn’t hurt her anymore, right? It turns out that it didn’t hurt her. It hurt me.

9

Pria

“We’ll be docking in Eureka. I know a guy there who might have some information for us. Hopefully a predicted location. Maybe even a route,” Steven says as we sail through the darkening space of the pacific.

“Good. I could use a little land about now. I haven’t been on a boat in a while.” The last time was when Rhylee was seven and we took a small trip up the coast with some friends.

“You can get all the land you need because that is where you will be waiting for us to return. My contact there will take good care of you.”

“But-”

“You got to come along, didn’t you? With any luck this time tomorrow we will be heading back to shore with your daughter in tow. All you need to do is sit tight and cross them pretty little fingers of yours,” Steven says while clicking away at something on the controls of the dashboard.

I don’t try and argue because I know it won’t do me any good. Especially if Roman has any say in the argument. I look over to where he stands at the bow of the boat, looking out into the water as if he were Jack Dawson or something. The muscles in his back bunch under the tight long sleeve tee shirt he has on. He hasn’t been wearing his cut since we started this journey and I find myself missing it on him. The long sleeves keep the tattoos that I know cover his arms out of sight. On the back of his neck, I can still make out the necklaces he wears. The wooden beads and silver chains make the back of his shirt ride up a little where they all bunch together. On his wrists I know still sit the wooden bead bracelets and leather cuffs that he has worn ever since I met him. I remember asking why he never took them off but he only brushed past the question.

As if he can feel me watching him, he turns around. For a split second, our gazes connect and I almost feel all the pain he has built up underneath that asshole exterior he keeps firmly in place. It’s all dashed away when he turns back around and continues to stare into the water.

“There’s our landing,” Steven announces and we start pulling into Eureka.

* * *

The contact Stevenhas is an older gentleman with a full head of gray hair and a soft smile. Why he would know anything about human traffickers is beyond me but I don’t question it as he tells Steven and Roman all he knows. “They don’t normally deviate from their route unless there is a storm, or the coastguard is in their path. They have three spotter boats that comb the area as they go. They keep a wide perimeter that a person would get caught in if they didn’t know where to avoid.” He pulls out a small device. “This is a scrambler. It should interfere with their radio contact.”

“Should? Come on Stan, how am I supposed to work with should?” Steven takes the device in his hands.

“It will, okay? Damn you are still as picky as ever Wraith. How’s that little wifey of yours?”

“Still not my wife,” Steven grumbles. “How many are usually on the ship?”

“Ten or so. There should be three containers this haul. One of them have your girl on it.” Stan directs his next sentence toward me. “That is all I can give you. I’m risking my ass enough here as it is. Any of this gets back toward me and I’m a dead man.” I don’t ask how and neither does Roman or Steven.

“We can go on this. Thanks old man.” Steven stands from the table we are all sitting at. All except Roman who is standing by the door. He’s been there since we stepped foot in this small shack of a house. It’s a beachfront home but looks as though if it gets one heavy gust of wind it would blow right over.

Steven and Stan shake hands before Steven gestures for Roman to follow him. I sit there for a moment as the two of them leave the house then suddenly I jump up and go running out the door. They are already halfway toward the small marina that we docked the boat in before I reach them.

“Roman,” I shout and they both stop to look at me.

“I’ll be waiting on the boat,” Steven says and leaves Roman standing there staring at me in question.

“I… Um… Her name, it’s Rhylee.”

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