Page 22 of Lies Beneath Secrets

CHAPTERSEVENTEEN

Con

No, I’m not above using my daughter to get Lauren to help me shop for school supplies. Especially after what happened last time we were here. When I pull into the parking lot, I take a deep breath, trying to not let it show how uncomfortable I am about coming back to this store. When we step out of the truck, Gabby goes right over to Lauren and extends her hands upward.

“You want me to carry you?” Lauren asks her.

“Yes,” Gabby tells her in the faintest whisper, and it tugs right on my heart. She has been talking here and there, giving me hope that she’s getting closer to being through that dark part of her life. Lauren happily picks Gabby up and positions her right above her hip like she has been doing this her whole life. Then she looks over at me and mouths, “Oh my gosh” with a smile. I find myself liking the sight of Lauren holding my daughter a little too much.

We walk quietly into the store, and I grab a cart. One that doesn’t make an awful squeaking noise this time. Lauren then comes over to the cart and puts Gabby inside. She sits down and crosses her legs, then looks up at me with a smile.

“Shit, I didn’t think of doing that before,” I say in amazement.

“Well, this.” Lauren points to the front of the cart where there’s a blue flap that she moves up and down. “This can be used to put kids in; that’s why there are straps here. I think she might be a tiny bit too big for it though.” I nod in agreement with her assessment.

“How do you know so much about kids?”

“When we lived in Ohio, we had this neighbor who was gone a lot, and she had me watch her kids. They were with me more than their mom I think,” she tells me as she steers the cart through the electric sliding doors.

“How old were you?”

“Maybe thirteen? It was after my sister left.” I’m about to ask her what she means by her sister leaving, but she holds out her hand. “Can I see the list please?” I reach into my pocket and hand it over, knowing full well I won’t be getting any type of story from her.

We walk through the store, finding the things listed on the paper. Luckily enough, there was a designated area for school supplies. “Can you think of anything else you might need for Gabby?” Lauren asks when the last item on the list is in the cart. It’s filling up quite a bit, so I decide to see if Gabby wants out.

“Last time we were here, I was hoping to get a coat for her. The one she has is ripped.” I extend my hands to Gabby, and she lets me take her out of the cart but when I put her on the floor, she grips me tighter. “You want me to keep holding you?” She gives me a little nod, then places her head on my shoulder. “All right then.” I smile and pat her on the back a little.

I glance over at Lauren, who’s watching the exchange. When our eyes meet, her cheeks turn pink, and my smile grows wider. Fucking hell my face hurts from all the smiling I’m doing today.

“Do you have shampoo and conditioner? Toothbrush? Hairbrush? Things like that.” Lauren asks when we reach the coats. I glance over to where the boxed-up horse was and thank fuck it isn’t there anymore.

“Not a lot. I have a few things we got from Knox, but that stuff is almost gone.” I haven’t been back to the clubhouse to ask one of the girls to go shopping for me. Not that I’m going to tell Lauren that.

“Then let’s get a coat and go that way next.” Lauren looks through the coats, then grabs one of the same damn coats I asked Gabby if she wanted last time we were here. “What do you think of this one, Gabby?” she asks. Gabby nods right before I’m about to say she had vetoed that one last time.

“Let’s see if it fits you then.” I put Gabby on the floor, and she tries on the coat. It’s a bit too small for her, so Lauren grabs a different one that fits her better. “Good. Happy with that one?” Gabby nods, then Lauren extends her hand for Gabby to take.

We walk to the other end of the store, where all the hair care stuff is, and Lauren grabs a few things, telling me how to use it. Never once in my life have I bought or used a conditioner and looking at Gabby’s hair now, I realize using that shit would be important. With my hair, I’d wash it, and it would either air dry, or I’d pull it back under a bandana. Yeah, I’m low maintenance. I’m finding that having a daughter is going to be costly.

We fill up the cart with so much shit, I decide that when the next job comes up, I’ll need to take it just to afford the next shopping trip. We also grab some food while we’re there. When I had taken Gabby to her last appointment, Dr. Brooks had suggested getting lots of fresh fruit and vegetables and doing less takeout. I’m not much of a cook, but I sure as hell can have a damn bag of apples in the apartment for her.

“Do you know how to cook?” I ask Lauren as we walk through the aisles stocked with bread and coffee.

“I know the basics, although if you were to look in my fridge, you would think I didn’t. I don’t shop much and just mainly have food from the diner. You can probably tell by the size of my ass,” she jokes, turning a little red after she says it.

“I think your ass is fantastic.” I find myself saying without missing a beat. To which she chuckles.

“Well, thanks,” she tells me with a smile, then grabs a loaf of bread. “Pb and J is a must with kids.” She puts the bread in the cart, then turns around to find a jar of peanut butter and some jelly. “Strawberry, not grape.” She shows me, then puts those in there as well “Right?” she directs her question to Gabby, who lets out a yawn, then nods. “Someone is getting tired.”

“Yeah, we should probably git,” I say, remembering her breaking down last time.

We walk over to the checkout and load up the belt thing at the register. Gabby occupies herself with some items on the shelf and by the time we’re all bagged up and paid, she’s playing with some toy thing and wanting to take it with her.

“We already paid, kiddo,” I say and grab the toy to put back. That’s when she starts crying. So fucking close. I reach down and pick her up as she reaches back toward the toy. I think for a second about getting the toy but stop myself. Instead, I put one hand on the cart and try to maneuver it out of the store, all while holding a squirming Gabby.

“Gabby?” Lauren says her name, getting her attention. “Want to come here?” She holds out her arms, and Gabby shakes her head. “Okay, then you need to stop kicking your dad,” she tells her, and she automatically stops squirming. “Thank you.” Lauren then takes the cart from my hands and pushes it toward the doors. Gabby quiets down after that but still has little tears in her eyes by the time we get to the truck. I put her in the booster seat, then go to put all the bags in the back. I find Lauren is nearly done with that.

“You handled that well.”

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