“Well, I’m proud of you for not just buying the toy.” She laughs. “Most parents would’ve and then have to go through the same thing every time they go to the store.”
“I damn near did. That’s what she did last time we were here, only it was over some big-ass $900 toy pony.” Still can’t get over the price of that thing.
“For that price, you could buy a real one!” Lauren tips her head back and laughs. The thought of my thumb tracing the column of her neck flashes in my head for a moment before I shake it away and join in her laughter.
We get into the truck, and Gaby is already out like a light. “I take it you don’t have scheduled nap-times?” Lauren says as we buckle in.
“Yeah, we don’t.” I look at my watch. “I’m thinking that we probably should start though. I know next to nothing about her life before me and even less about kids in general. So, I’m really just winging it here.”
Lauren nods in understanding “Well, I can help you whenever you need it. I might not know a whole lot, but I can wing it with you if you’d like.” I glance over at her. She’s looking out the window with her hands clasped together. She at least isn’t digging her thumbnail into her palm right now. Maybe she’s getting more comfortable around me. I find myself liking the idea of that.
CHAPTEREIGHTEEN
Lauren
Scribbling my name on the visitors list, I glance around the cafeteria, hoping to see my mom. “She hasn’t been coming this week. I think it would be great if you could talk her into a walk,” Bunny, one of the nurses, tells me at the front desk.
“It’s very nice out still for this time of year.” It’s hit or miss in Wisconsin when it comes to fall. One day, it will feel like a beautiful spring or even summer day; the next, you’re smacked with something that resembles winter. And don’t even get me started on the wind. Bunny smiles and goes back to typing on the computer.
I walk down the halls until I come to room 505. Moyra Blakely. She’s sitting on her bed with an untouched tray of food next to her. “Hi, Mom,” I say before I come all the way into her room. She hasn’t shown any signs leading me to believe she doesn’t remember me, but her lack of facial expressions and body language always make me proceed with caution. “It’s a beautiful day today.” I walk around her bed. She’s looking out the window but when I come into her line of sight, her eyes drift my way. “Hey,” I whisper. “Want to get up and take a walk?” While, yes, she can walk, I normally have her in a wheelchair for walks. Having to carry her back into the assisted living facility isn’t high on my list of things I want to do.
She responds to me bringing her wheelchair over by pulling away her covers and moving to get off the bed. Apparently, she’s eager to go outside.
“That’s weird,” I say, more to myself than anything. “Where’s the picture you had here?” I point to the dresser. There are normally three pictures on there; now there are only two. “Strange. I’ll have to ask the nurse if it broke or something.” It wouldn’t be too far-fetched if it had fallen on the floor. I doubt anyone would steal a picture of the three of us. What would they get out of that?
The sun is high and bright, and there isn’t a cloud in sight today. “See, beautiful day for a walk, Mom.” I make sure to put a blanket over her even with the warm day. She’s so skinny, I’m sure she gets cold very easily. “I saw Leah.” I start, telling her about things that have been going on since I last visited. I probably should come more than I do, but these visits leave me so empty and hopeless that all I want to do when I get home is burn. I should have scheduled an appointment with Dr. Brooks, but I’ve been putting it off. I’ve been writing about my dreams though. She’d be happy to hear that.
“Let’s sit here for a little bit,” I say to her and park her wheelchair next to a bench that’s placed along the river that runs through town. There are some ducks out here and for a moment, I think that Gabby would probably enjoy seeing them. “I got a new neighbor,” I find myself telling my mother. “His name is Conner. He has a daughter named Gabby. I helped them go school shopping a little while ago.” I look over at her. She’s still young but seems to have aged twenty years in the last two. Her long hair, once the same color as mine, has been taken over by silver with barely any dark brown left in its wake. Her face droops slightly from the stroke, and those laugh lines that used to grace the corners of her mouth have almost disappeared because of it. “Are you still in there?” I reach out and touch her hand. “Mom? It’s LuLu.” Her gaze slowly drags from the ducks over to me. “Hey,” I say through the tears I can’t help but let fall. “I miss you, Mom.”
Just as I said before, like being trapped in a box.
CHAPTERNINETEEN
Con
I may or may not have been standing by my window, waiting for her to walk up to the building. When she does though, I’m glad because she’s clearly crying. Her hand swipes across her flushed cheeks, and she walks quickly to get inside. Like the stalker I’ve become, I stride right over to my door and put my eye up to the damn peephole.
Gabby is still in school and won’t be home for at least two hours. I knew if I had a chance to see Lauren one on one, today would be my best shot. She works so much and the last time I was there, I might have snuck a peek at the schedule.
Her footsteps are light, and I barely hear them through the door. I watch as she steps into view, then gets closer to her apartment. When she starts to unlock all of the locks she must have attached after that night, I make my move. Pulling open the door, I do my best to pretend that I’m leaving to go somewhere. “Oh, hey, Lauren.”
“Shit!” she yelps and drops her keys.
“I didn’t mean to scare you.” That’s the truth. I thought I had been loud enough when I opened the door.
“It’s fine.” She brushes me off and grabs her keys again. “Crappy day.” She proceeds to open her door still.
“Is everything okay?” I’ve already seen that she has been crying before she came into the building but now that I’m closer to her, she seems agitated as well. Her movements as she puts a key in each lock are jerky and her tone has a sharpness to it I haven’t witnessed before.
“Just wonderful,” she tells me sarcastically, then pockets her keys. “Have a great day.” Even that comes out with some snark. Something clearly is going on with her.
“Lauren,” I say her name but when she doesn’t respond, I decide to push it just a little further. “Lauren.” This time with more of an edge. I do one better and put my hand out to prevent her from closing her door.
“Damn it, Conner. I’m not in the mood for company,” she snaps at me and jerks her head up to meet my gaze. She darts her eyes from inside her apartment then back up to me before letting out a huff. “What do you want?”
“To be honest, all I wanted to do was say hello, then I saw how pissed off you were,” I say, wondering how far I should push my being here on her.
“I went to visit my mom.” She lets out a dry laugh. “I really don’t know why I do.” She tips her head back, then brings her hands to her cheeks to swipe away her tears. They go under her glasses, over her eyes, then drop to her sides. “She had a stroke two years ago and is just a shell of who she once was.”