Page 122 of All Your Bloody Lies

I do not like this feeling.

“I don’t think anything with us is coincidental, Xera. I do believe in fate.”

Oh my Gods. Please don’t… don’t ruin this…

“I don’t know what everything means, and don’t worry, I said I didn’t have a ring and I don’t.” His sheepish laugh makes my eyes widen while holding my breath. “It’s fucking weird to even have to be this cautious about a stupid word, but you are so—”

“Kai, don’t.”

“See? What is it with you and that word—”

“You don’t understand what it means. Don’t use a word you have no clue about.” Sensations akin to ants traversing my skin prompt me to fold my arms tightly around my waist as I feel myself pulling away. “Just drop it, please.”

“Tell me why,” he presses. “I’m no coward, Xera, but I feel like I am forced to be with how I feel.”

“Shut—UP!” I’m so forceful I see him waver, “Don’t ruin this! Not over a stupid fucking word that no one understands!”

“Maybe it’s you that doesn’t understand it.” I’m shaking my head while he narrows his eyes at me. “Tell me why.”

I do not want to have this conversation. Not right now. I was so happy just moments ago and now I feel trapped. That word, those three fucking words, are the worst things to ever be put together.

“Because it is always a lie. Always.”

His mouth opens and I cover my eyes with my hands, tucking my head down and shielding myself. “Don’t! If you say those words Kai, I will fucking leave and I will never come back!”

I feel his hands grab gently at my shoulder, “They wouldn’t be a lie.”

“There is a part of you that will not feel that way. Even if small. You may not even recognize it, but I will see it!”

“Look at me, Xera.”

“No!” I shove him back so hard that he falls against the glass coffee table. I’m up on my feet, stepping away, my eyes shut. “You’re ruining this... I like you, Kai, I do!” My body vibrates with fear. “I just can’t do that. I can’t hear you say that. Please don’t make me run… please…”

When I hear his footsteps I fight the urge to retreat, and I’m glad that I do. His arms are around my head, holding me tight. “You know I’d chase you…” One of his hands brushes down my hair, “But it’s your birthday.” I remove my hands from my face and wrap them around his back. “Whatever you want.”

He leans down and kisses my temple. I’m being irrational, I know I am.

“Thank you,” I whisper, and lift my head.

I can see in his expression he is hurt by my reaction, the gentle pull between his brow and half-smile. “I’m—” I don’t get the apology out because I hear buzzing.

His phone is vibrating in his pocket, and I’m thankful for the distraction. We can center ourselves with it. At first, he doesn’t go for it, but I give him a nod, and he releases me with one arm and pulls it out.

“Hey, butterfly.” Interesting that she’d call him. Oh, wait—where is my phone? “She probably left it upstairs.” He gives me a disappointed look and places his hand behind my neck. “Uh oh…” I can’t quite hear her, but it doesn’t sound like anything terrible or she’d be screaming.

“Hmm.” He looks between my eyes, as though reading me. “Yeah, give me twenty, could use the fresh air.”

After a moment, he hangs up the phone and tucks it back into his pants. “Looks like Tyson’s car won’t start.”

“Why does she have—”

“He let her borrow it, it was all part of the birthday surprise.” He draws the back of his fingers down my cheek.

“Oh… you know, I did tell him it sounded weird last time I was in it,” I scold. “Fresh air?”

“I think we both could use a moment.” He brushes aside my hair, pulling it behind my ear. I smile weakly and nod. He’s right, I absolutely could use a moment to myself.

“I’m going to take her over to Tyson’s, which was the plan so I could have my little demon all to myself. I’ll be back within the hour, okay?”

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