“Fuck you,” Justin said, stomping away to the sound of our combined laughter.
“We really shouldn’t tease him like that,” I said.
“Why?” Ryder asked. “He asked for it.”
I grabbed some water myself. “Want some lunch?”
“What are you having?”
“I was just going to make myself a sandwich,” I said. “I’ve been dreaming of burgers today.”
Ryder smiled. “Maybe we should pay Miriam another visit?”
“I’d like that,” I nodded, wondering if that would count as a date or not. Although I had sort of initiated the topic, so I wasn’t sure if it counted.
Ryder proceeded to help me put together some sandwiches for the both of us, and we stood side by side, assembling everything together. Our relationship was a strange one. Sometimes it was almost adversarial. We would piss each other off randomly, we would get on each other’s nerves, and in those moments, nothing could calm either one of us down. And then there were other times when it was so comfortable and familiar that it felt like I’d known Ryder for years.
“So… did Devon talk to you?”
“Umm… he talks to me every day now,” I replied, surprised by the question. “It would be weird now if he didn’t.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“I figured,” I smiled. “What did you mean?”
“Well… we were talking about what would happen once Walter Black was dealt with and there was no threat to you any longer.”
I froze for a moment, and suddenly I felt a little nervous. I had no reason to. It was a reasonable thing to discuss, and I seriously needed to start thinking about my next step in life. It wasn’t like I could stay in the clubhouse forever.
“Oh,” I said. “I suppose… I’ve been thinking about that a lot too.”
“And?”
“First, tell me what you and Devon discussed.” I asked curiously.
“Well, Devon mentioned that it might be a good idea for you to start fresh… somewhere far away like Chicago.”
I suppressed a sigh. “It doesn’t sound like the worst idea.”
Ryder nodded. “You think you’d like it there?”
“I have no idea,” I admitted. “I’ve never been. It would certainly be a fresh start. But…”
“What?” Ryder asked.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I guess I’m worried about certain things…”
“Like what?” he asked.
“Nothing,” I said quickly. “Never mind.”
“Come on,” he insisted. “Tell me.”
“Well, staying here at the clubhouse with all you guys for the last few weeks….”
“Yes?”
“I don’t know… sometimes I feel like it’s changed me,” I admitted. “I don’t feel like the same girl that walked in here weeks ago.”