Page 198 of His Virgin Romance Series

“You’re not.”

I smiled. “Yeah… I have to figure myself out first, and I’m worried now that… I might not fit in anywhere.”

“Are you scared that you’ve got too attached to the MC lifestyle?” Ryder asked, hitting the nail on the head the first time around.

“I sound stupid, don’t I?” I said, smiling self-consciously.

“I don’t think so,” Ryder said quietly.

He didn’t look at me, but I noticed his pensive expression and something about it touched me. “You know what I dreamt about last night?” I asked.

“What?”

“Motorbikes,” I admitted.

Ryder smiled. “No way.”

“Yup,” I nodded. “I was on the highway riding this amazing motorbike, and nothing about that dream felt unnatural. In fact, it felt… freeing.”

“Sounds like you’ve caught the bug.”

“I’ve been on a motorbike exactly once in my entire life.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Ryder replied. “I fell in love with bikes before I’d even got on one. Some things just happen naturally. Some things are just…instinctive.”

He glanced at me at that moment, and I felt a spark pass between us, and for a second it felt like we weren’t talking about motorbikes anymore. We had a connection; there was no denying it. But I had wondered if that connection was based solely on sexual tension. Now I was beginning to think that we connected on more levels, and that somehow was more terrifying. No matter how good the sex might be, it was only just a physical relationship, and some would argue that that was only surface deep.

“Ryder?” I asked before I could stop myself.

“Yeah?”

“Don’t you ever get lonely?”

“Lonely?” Ryder repeated, and he sounded surprised by the question. “I live in a huge house with a bunch of other men who come and go as they please. I never feel lonely. In fact… sometimes I crave loneliness.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?”

“Do you miss not having a partner in life?” I asked, deciding to go down this road despite my reservations.

“Oh,” Ryder said, with understanding. “You mean a woman?”

“Yes.”

He was obviously uncomfortable with the question. I saw the discomfort solidify itself in the mask he always wore when he was trying to hide how he really felt.

“I have tons of women,” he bragged cockily. “More than I know what to do with.”

“I’m not talking about casual sex,” I said impatiently.

“What else would I go to a woman for?” he asked.

I recoiled from him and looked down at the breadboard in front of me. “You know what? Forget I ever said anything. It was a stupid question to ask in the first place. Of course you’re not capable of having a real relationship with a woman because women are only commodities and possessions in this kind of lifestyle. I shouldn’t even be surprised.

“Scratch what I said before. I don’t have anything to worry about where leaving this place is concerned. I don’t really belong here. I never did. I’ve just clung to this false sense of security because it’s easier than focusing on the fact that Walter is still out there and waiting for revenge. The truth is, once he’s found and out of my life for good, starting new someplace far away sounds perfect. In fact… I can’t wait to leave.”

“Great,” Ryder responded, in a tone that suggested he was equally offended by what I had just said. “I’m sure you’ll find a straight-laced guy who’ll bore you to happiness.”

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