Page 220 of His Virgin Romance Series

“He loved you?” I repeated. “Didn’t you love him?”

Mom smiled. “Not at first,” she admitted. “I clung to him because he was giving me a way out. My plan was to leave the state and go someplace new. I didn’t want anything to do with motorcycle clubs or their lifestyles. I wanted to get as far away from that as possible.”

“Seriously?” I asked, amazed that we’d never spoken about this before. But then, I hadn’t really been interested in listening before now.

“Yes,” Mom nodded. “But I had to lie low for a while before leaving the state, and in the meantime… your father and I became friends. Do you know the reason I decided to stay behind?”

“Why did you stay behind?” I asked.

Mom smiled. “Because he asked me to,” she replied. “He didn’t make any declarations of love. He didn’t promise me anything. But he didn’t need to. I knew him well enough to know that he wouldn’t be asking me to stay unless he felt he could treat me well.”

“So you stayed?” I asked, in amazement. “You must have loved him then.”

“I did at that point,” Mom nodded. “He just loved me a little more at first. It’s the reason he didn’t care about my pregnancy. He just wanted to look after me… and you.”

I sighed. “He did look after us,” I admitted. “I suppose realizing that is what brought me back here.”

Mom nodded. “You’ve grown up.”

“Do you think Dad will ever speak to me again?”

Mom smiled. “Of course,” she said. “He was thrilled to see you.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Umm… did we see the same man?”

Mom laughed. “Trust that I know your father better than you do. He’s angry, but beneath that anger is relief. He’s glad you’re back. Which is not to say he’s going to go easy on you.”

“I never expected him to,” I nodded.

“What’s your plan, Ryder?” Mom asked, but I knew what she was really asking.

“I want to come back to the Fallen Angels… I mean, I want to re-join,” I said.

“You’ll have to start from the beginning,” Mom replied. “As a pledge.”

“I know.”

“He’s not going to make the initiation process easy for you.”

“I know that, too.”

Mom nodded, and she looked like she was proud of me. “It’s good to have you back, son,” she said.

“It’s good to be back, Mom,” I nodded.

I snapped out of the memory as I came to a stop outside the clubhouse. I looked towards the trees in the distance. The house I had grown up on was just over the ridge, part of the same property but abandoned and unused since my mother’s death. Dad had moved into the clubhouse right after her funeral because he couldn’t stand staying there after she was gone.

Sometimes it seemed like his premature death was a relief because it meant he didn’t have to keep enduring without Mom. It was an unconventional love story, but there was no doubt in my mind that it was a love story. I had just never thought about it like this before. It wasn’t like I ever had a reason. I had never been drawn to a woman the way my father had been drawn to my mother.

I had fucked dozens and dozens of women, but I had never loved one. Nor had I ever really wanted to. Love felt like weakness to me. It felt like a crutch that slowed you down. I wasn’t interested in being slowed down. But I had always assumed I would have the choice to fall in love or not.

But now… I realized I had assumed wrong my entire life. It wasn’t a choice. It never had been.

---