Page 54 of His Virgin Romance Series

JARED

Another day, another death…I wondered if this was what my life was going to be like for as long as I was a firefighter. I shouldn’t have been surprised. This is what I signed up for… But suddenly, I was starting to question whether I was really up for this job or if getting older was making me soft.

I drove home in a trance, reliving the memory of the day and trying to figure out if I could have done anything differently. Maybe if I’d been faster, we could have saved him. Maybe if we had chosen a different extraction plan, he would have made it. I kept seeing his eyes, fixed on mine. He was seventy-one. He’d had a long life, but in this job, I had come to learn that it didn’t matter how old you were or how great a life you’d lived. Death was scary for even the most prepared out there.

I parked the car and sighed deeply, feeling my body protest at the long shift and the fact that I was running on just a few hours of sleep. I wasn’t fit for anything except a quick shower before surrendering to sleep, but I needed to hear Rachel’s voice before I got to bed. I knew that I would sleep better after speaking to her.

I got into my apartment, dragging my feet the whole time. Then I had a quick shower and collapsed into bed before reaching for my phone. Thankfully, Rachel answered on the third ring.

“Jared,” she said, and her voice made me feel better instantly.

“I’m sorry to call so late.”

“That’s okay,” she replied. “You can call me anytime…you know that.”

“I just…needed to hear your voice,” I said tiredly.

“What’s wrong, my darling?” she asked, and her tone was so tender I felt moisture around my eyes.

“Just another bad day,” I managed to say, keeping my voice from shaking.

“What happened?”

“There was a car accident between Elm and Augustus,” I told her. “Two cars collided. There were four people involved in the accident. We lost one.”

Rachel was silent for a moment. She didn’t say any of the traditional things you would expect her to say. “Tell me about the person you lost,” she said.

I almost smiled. It was not just intuition on her part—she understood me. She knew what to say…and not say to make me feel better. She knew I didn’t need to hear that this was part of the job and that death was part of life. She knew I didn’t need apologies and unnecessary platitudes. I just needed to talk about what had happened… I needed to remember him so that next time, I could do better.

“His name was Daniel Peterson,” I said. “He was seventy-one years old. He had a wife; I think her name was Lisa. She was in the car with him.”

“She made it?”

“She was taken to the hospital,” I said. “I don’t know what happened to her after that, but I think she’ll be okay. She kept asking if Daniel had made it… She kept calling out different names. I think they were the names of her children, maybe even her grandchildren.”

“What names did she call out?”

“Samantha, Ellie, and Jonathan,” I said. “He looked scared, Rachel. I was with him when the life went out of him. It’s the most haunting thing to watch. One moment you can see his consciousness reflected in his eyes and the next moment…there’s nothing there. He’s just…an empty shell with nothing inside.

“It makes you realize how unimportant are bodies are in the greater scheme of things. They’re just carriers for our souls.

“He was looking at me when he died. And, he was scared. I could see that clearly. But it was more than just a fear of death. He was looking at me as though he were terrified I would leave. He didn’t want to be alone. I think he knew he was going and was scared of what would meet him when he did. He looked like a child at that moment, and it made me feel scared for him.”

“Do you need me to come over?” Rachel asked softly.

“That’s sweet of you, but it’s late, and I don’t want you coming over at this time. I’m just going to sleep now, anyway. I might be out for a while, but I’ll call you when I wake up.”

“Get your rest,” she said, with understanding. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“It was nice to hear your voice,” I said. “I knew it would make me feel better.”

I could tell instinctively that she was smiling. “I’m glad. If you have trouble sleeping, call me, okay? No matter the time.”

“I will.” I nodded.

“Goodnight, Jared.”

I said goodnight and hung up. My head was much lighter than before I had spoken to Rachel and because of that, I was able to fall into sleep easily. Thankfully, I had a dreamless sleep, and when I woke up the sun was streaming through the cracks in the blinds, alerting me to mid-morning.

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