Page 211 of Tormented Billionaire Romance Series

“I must be pretty dumb to be lugging boulders around.”

“No.” Maggie smiled softly, sadly. “You just think they’re worth more than they are.”

She was right. She had managed to put into simple words what I had struggled with for so long.

Why couldn’t I do that?

Why couldn’t I be good enough to save myself? To know what I needed?

I’ve never had any practice. I don’t know how.

Maybe doing this, making this change, would show me how to do all those things which I had been incapable of in the past.

I kept leaning on Maggie, resting my head on her shoulder. “My only real regret about selling the house would be that I… well, it’s kind of dumb.”

“What is it?”

“I’ve never told anyone about this before.” I hunched my shoulders. “It’s kind of a dream I had. I wanted to maybe turn the house into a sewing shop someday.”

“That would have been a great idea, if you could do it.” Maggie kept rubbing my back.

“It kind of makes me feel like I’m giving up on my dream.” A sudden lightning bolt of anxiety struck me, electrocuting me with its jagged, white-hot tendrils. I jerked upright, twisted in Maggie’s arm to stare up at her. “Letting go of the past isn’t the same as giving up on my dream, is it?”

Panic started clawing at me from the inside, jagged nails scraping at the cage of my ribs.

Maggie put her hands on my shoulders. “Of course not!” she cried. “Oh, Megyn. There’s more than one way to obtain your dream. There are so many ways to achieve a goal. I think you’re doing the right thing, sweetie.”

“I am?” I gasped, through my strangled throat.

“Absolutely. Instead of trying to claw your way out of this canyon, you’re going to be looking for another route.” Maggie suddenly yanked me into her arms, smoothing the back of my hair with her hand. I burrowed against her, chest hitching. “It’s scary, I know. For years, you’ve been in this canyon. You’re familiar with it. You don’t know what’s going to be down that other path. But it could be so much better. You have to hope.”

Some of the tension eased. I gasped in air and lifted my hand to rub my face.

Maggie gave a soft, soothing murmur. She kept stroking my hair, long caresses that soothed my tightly-coiled muscles between my shoulder blades. “You sell the house. You might not get much, but it’ll be enough to cover some of your apartment’s rent and maybe funnel a little away into savings. You work on this apron for Suzie. You look for other sewing jobs, maybe make some dresses here and there. Christmas is coming. After that, the new year. You chase the trends, rack up the money, build your reputation. And then you buy back that house and turn it into your shop, like you’ve always dreamed of.”

I listened to her and though I knew it would be difficult, I could almost, almost imagine it to be possible. With a lot of hard work and luck…

“Or you do it some other way,” Maggie finished. “You do it your way. But I believe in you. I know you can do it.”

“I don’t know if I can,” I said. “But I really would like to try.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” Maggie pulled away. Her eyes glittered with that light of determination I knew so well. “Let’s do this shit. Let’s go make some tea and then we can start looking at apartment listings.”

I wasn’t ready, I wanted to say.

But I would never be ready. I just had to be brave and do it, and do my best.

I summoned what courage I could, mostly by thinking of how much better I’d feel if Carter showed up to an apartment building rather than a tiny rundown house. “Okay. Let’s do it. But we’ll just be looking, right? Getting a feel for the neighborhoods.”

“Absolutely,” Maggie agreed, a bit too fast, which meant she was agreeing for my sake. She hopped out of bed. “Unless you find one you absolutely love. We’ll have to move fast in that case.”

I wanted to say I doubted that would happen.

I held my tongue instead.

I had to hope. This would be a good practice exercise.

I again thought of Carter. I imagined seeing his fancy car waiting out in a parking lot, perhaps several stories under my apartment window. I could wave to him, and he would see me, and smile…

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