Page 10 of Delicious

“I didn’t. I’m just old and creaky.” Stu submitted, allowing me to feel around his torso until he finally pushed me toward my plate of food. “Go eat, Percy.”

“Okay.” I stayed quiet while we ate, barely managing to choke down half of my usual portion.

“What’s wrong?” Stu asked at last.

I opened my mouth, fully prepared to make a joke, but what came out instead was, “You matter to me.”

“And that’s a bad thing?” Stu blinked.

All I could do was shrug. I pursed my lips. My expression was likely sullen, but I couldn’t help it. This was a fucking crisis, and he couldn’t see it.

“Look. I get it.” Stu patted my jeans-covered knee. “Divorce sucks. Having your heart broken sucks. But discovering it might still work doesn’t have to be a bad thing.”

“Says the eternal optimist.” I huffed. Stu had nailed it, as usual. I was upset to discover I cared about him and all that implied while he took my revelation in stride. “I’m not sure I’m ready for the risk of dating.”

“How exactly is dating different from what we’re already doing?” Stu’s tone was kind yet logical. “You might call it friends with benefits, but you care about my well-being. You’re over every night my kids aren’t here. You ask how my day went via text even if we don’t see each other. You send me dirty memes.”

“Oh God.” I sank back against the couch. “We’re dating. Fuck.”

“The horrors.” Stu rolled his eyes at me before abruptly setting aside his ice packs and standing. He grabbed our plates and gathered trash. His movements weren’t exactly upset, but they were far more efficient than I usually associated with Stu.

“What are you doing?”

“Cleaning up in case the kids come back, and so I can show you the door.” He gestured toward the front door. “I like you, Percy. A lot. But I like—and respect—me more.”

“I didn’t mean I don’t want to dateyou. I don’t want to date anyone.” I tried to backpedal, but Stu shook his head mournfully.

“I know my limitations, but I also know my worth. I’ve enjoyed the last month more than I can say.”

“Me too,” I whispered.

“But not enough to date me.” Stu exhaled harshly. “If you want to run from this being something real and good, I won’t chase you.”

“Oh.” My jaw fell open, and I stumbled toward the door. I needed to say something quickly, but I had no clue what.

“Good night, Percy.” And with that, Stu shut the door on our evening, our future as friends with benefits, and on a piece of my heart.

No. He couldn’t have my heart. Could he?

The last six weeks or so of my life flashed through my brain. Stu laughing as we played the video game. Stu feeding me spicy chicken. Stu looking blissed out after sex. Stu showing me his latest painting. Stu welcoming me in with a grin.

Oh fuck.I’d gone and fallen for the guy.

I stumbled back to my place, unlocked the door, and threw myself into my recliner. The same recliner I’d been dozing in when Stu had arrived with a hot dish and rocked my world. I surveyed my blank walls, brown couch, and perfectly boring existence. This was what I had to look forward to. I could go back to flirting with strangers, living my life in monochrome, a word I now knew because, apparently, I’d been unintentionally dating an art teacher.

Fuck me.

Or rather, fuck, Stu. Had I ever had a better sex partner? Ever? He was feisty and competitive outside of bed, submissive and pliant in it, and brought the same creativity to sex that he did everything else. He made me feel sexy and powerful. Did I really want to give that up?

Did he want to give that up? He’d been only too happy to show me the door. Maybe he was getting tired of me too. A siren sounded in the distance, and I reflexively reached for my phone, making sure I wasn’t getting called in. However, even after I verified there wasn’t a missed message, my pulse continued to pound. I felt like I had as a kid after losing my dad, when every siren had made me think of him.

Oh.Stu knew loss and pain too. We shared that early wound. He just hid it better. All the evidence I had from the last month said he liked me as much as I liked him. I was the one being stupid, but we were both running scared.

Well, shit.I glanced down at my silent phone again. How exactly did one ask out the guy he’d been dating for the last month?

ChapterSix

Stu

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