Page 39 of Unmoored

Even now, Murph isn’t asking questions. He just gathers me into his arms and rocks me gently against his chest, pressing his lips into my hair. His energy is calm, his breathing slow. I’d think he was asleep, except that he keeps rubbing my back in big, slow circles.

Murph’s right here with me, but he’s not in a rush—he’s just waiting for me to be okay in my own time. And in this darkness, safe in his hands, it spills out before I can think twice.

“I never told you why I came here.”

Murph’s touch stops for a moment before he resumes again. “Mm?” he hums.

“I—I was living in Vancouver with my boyfriend. Before I came here, I mean.”

Shit. Is this really the right time?

I pause, swallowing nervously, but Murph just keeps rubbing my back, so I take a deep breath to keep going.

“I don’t think he ever loved me,” I admit. It’s the first time I’m saying it aloud to myself, and it hits hard—but it feels good, too. “And I don’t know if I loved him, or I just wanted him to love me.”

Murph’s hand stops on my back. He presses his lips into my hair, nodding silently.

I swallow hard, closing my eyes and snuggling into him. “Then he drunk-voicenoted me instead of his buddy while he was out with the guys. He called methe old backup plan.”

Murph goes still. I can feel his confusion. “Huh? He told you his backup plan?”

He’s just not the kind of guy who would ever say that, and it makes me smile despite the ache in my chest. “No, you heard that right. Hecalledme his backup plan.”

I’ve never felt someone go from tender to rigid with fury so fast. Every muscle in Murph’s body hardens as he sucks in a breath. He slides his leg over mine like he’s trying to wrap me up in a cocoon. “I’m sorry, Eden,” he murmurs, his arms tightening until he almost crushes me against him.

Feeling his protective rage makes something in me relax at last, safe in his hold. “Yeah. Pretty shitty,” I mumble. “But I woke up and found out I bought Dawn’s Embrace… so I packed up my stuff and sold the rest. And that pretty much brings me here.”

Any moment now, Murph will put together the pieces and realize how recent this was. When June began, I was still living with George.

“So?” Murph echoes me at last.

I blink, pulling away to peer through the darkness. I can almost make out his expression. He doesn’t even look annoyed. “My baggage is fresher than the catch of the day.”

Murph shrugs wordlessly.

“I—I should have told you.” The frustration finally spills out of me in a rush of breath. “But I didn’t want to. I was afraid he’d just be this looming shadow in my new life. And… and I didn’t want to scare you off.”

Murph just watches me quietly. “Why?”

“You’re not just a rebound. But I—it all happened so fast, and—fuck, I haven’t even called my parents and told them about the breakup.” I gulp, shaking my head slowly. “I just… I had to run, and I didn’t want to look back. I can’t stand seeing the look on their faces when I tell them what an asshole he was. Or, you know what’s worse than that? Finding out that everyone else already knew.”

“Eden,” Murph gently interrupts me, cupping my cheeks between his rough palms. He pulls me in again, and then he presses his warm lips against my forehead. “You havenothingto apologize for.”

I open my mouth for a second, and then I slowly shut it again. For once, he’s got me. I don’t have words—except that I can’t figure out why the hell he’s being so nice.

“Your past is your past,” he says. “We’ve all got one. Some of us have had smooth sailing, and others… well, you’ve been caught in a storm.”

“But…” I stutter, shaking my head. “Doesn’t it worry you? I just blew in from a freaking hurricane. I don’t know what’s left of me to be fixed. God, I haven’t even been in… dry-dock? That’s what they call it, right?”

“Then we can get tested together.”

“Murph!” I gasp with surprise, and then I dissolve into giggles.

Holy shit, it feels good to just let go of all that gathering tension. After a few moments, Murph joins in, softly chuckling along. Only when the tears gather in my eyes does my laughter tail off enough to breathe again.

Murph gathers me into his chest and rubs my back again. “It doesn’t bother me. I’m just glad I can still hoist the old sail.”

I snort. “I’m trying to be serious.”

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