Page 77 of I'll Be the One

“Are you still there?” Dad says, and I remember that he’s still on the line.

“Yeah.”

“People are getting angry that you got eliminated. Do you think that’ll change anything?”

Since I really have no idea, I just say, “I don’t know, Dad. Maybe.”

“Whatever happens, I’m so proud of you,” he says. “You’re inspiring so many people! My little Skye, making a real change in this world. At just sixteen, too! I can’t even imagine what you’ll accomplish as an adult.”

“Jeez, talk about pressure.”

Dad laughs. I can almost see him wink. “I meant it in a good way. So proud.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

There’s a lot of background noise where Dad is. I hear an announcement, someone paging a passenger for a Southwest Airlines flight.

“Are you headed back to NorCal?” I ask, feeling kind of sad like I always do whenever I don’t get to spend much time with Dad on the weekends that he’s home. That’s one thing I really hate about this competition. Since I’m always so busy practicing and catching up on homework, I rarely get to see Dad when he’s in town anymore.

“Yup,” he replies. “Iwouldstay until tomorrow, but we’re working on a big project right now. Probably need to go into the office on Sunday.”

“Ugh, gross, I’m so sorry,” I say.

Dad laughs. “It’s okay. I’m used to it. And besides, it’s not like I have anyone waiting for me at home.”

There’s an awkward silence filled with nothing but airport noises, and I realize Dad never meant to say that last part out loud. I try to change the subject.

“Do you...” I trail off, trying to reel in the terror instantly builds up in my chest. “Do you know if Mom saw me getting eliminated from the dance competition?”

Dad doesn’t respond for a few more seconds, and in the meantime, an announcement blares from the intercom. It’s very faint, but I can hear the word “boarding.”

“She told me she’s really busy today,” he says at last. His line becomes staticky, and I hear the rustle of people moving about, like Dad and the other passengers are getting on the plane. “But knowing her, she probably found time to watch it at some point. I already texted her to say she should be nice to you, but she hasn’t responded yet.”

I sigh. “Thanks for trying.”

“No problem. I have to go now. Plane’s going to depart soon. Talk to you when I land, and good luck.”

“Okay, thanks, Appa. Have a safe flight.”

We hang up, and in a tight ball of anxiety, I wait for Mom to come home.

Chapter Thirty-Three

MOM HAS A FIELD DAY ABOUT THE FACT THAT Iwas eliminated from the dance portion of the competition. She starts talking my ears off as soon as I get home, and she’s still going on and on when we sit down for dinner.

“Well, it’s for the best, Haneul,” she says at last. “Singing really was your one true talent, and I’m so glad that you’re still in the competition for it now.”

I wish she could understand that I love singing and dancing equally. That even if I do only win this competition for vocals, I want to be the type of K-pop star who can singanddance really well, so I can show everyone that big bodies aren’t something to be afraid of. I grew up thinking someone my size could never dance. And I don’t want the other kids watching at home to think that too.

All this is running through my head as I try—and fail—to keep eating my dinner.

Mom notices that I’ve stopped eating and says, “Why don’tyou have an appetite? I made your favorite, beef soondubu. Did you finally start a diet?”

And that’s when I decide that enough is enough. I may not be able to do anything about Bora disqualifying me from the dance part of the competition, but I can change what goes on in my own home.

“No, Mom,” I say. Since I know she’ll only dismiss me if I start to get emotional, I keep my voice flat and even. I sound strange and stiff to my own ears. “I lost my appetite because of the incredibly rude comments you made about my weight.”

“Honey, I only want the best for you. When you’re a parent yourself, you’ll look back and feel grateful that I cared so much about you.”

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