Page 49 of This Feeling

“I added the pergola, and of course, all the veggie and flower beds. I’m hoping these flowers at the base of the pergola will grow fast, and I can have some natural shade up here.”

“It smells heavenly.”

“Probably the jasmine.”

The sun was just about to dip below the horizon, and I was struck by how comfortable I felt up here with Harper. Normally, I was crawling out of my skin to get back to my place and just relax and enjoy the peace. After years of hearing gunshots, helicopters, and tanks, my mind was ready for stillness.

“Too bad Brystol doesn’t have a rooftop like this. I’d always be up there. The silence is wonderful.”

“Was it hard doing what you did for a living?”

Without looking at her, I drew in a slow breath and exhaled. “Sometimes. At first, I had nightmares and a lot of guilt, but as the years went by, I realized the hard stuff was just as much a part of the job.”

“Do you still have nightmares?” she softly asked.

I nodded and let out a half-hearted chuckle. “Yeah. The guilt is still there, as well. I just learned to compartmentalize it so I could do my job. I never really understood how much I craved the silence until I moved back home.”

“You’re more than welcome to come up here anytime you want. You can use the side entrance. It goes up to my apartment, but also heads straight up to the roof. I’ll give you the code.”

“Thanks, Harp, I appreciate that.”

I turned and looked at the large sliding-glass doors. “Do those lead into your apartment?”

“Yeah, the second floor. The apartment is two stories, with the living room, kitchen, and dining room all on the first level. The second has the main bedroom with a bathroom attached, and there are two more bedrooms and one bathroom. I use one of the rooms as an office, and the other is just storage.”

I nodded. “I’m on the third floor of the toy shop. I guess Brystol is using the second floor for inventory and such.”

“That makes sense,” she replied, before finishing her wine and pointing to the sky. “The sun has officially set.” Then she exhaled and turned to face me fully. It looked as if she wanted to say something…but decided against it at the last minute, staying silent.

Clearing my throat, I said, “I should be going.”

“Oh,” she replied, taking the wine glass from my hand. “You’re probably exhausted. You worked a shift, then helped me make flower arrangements.”

“That was fun and low-key. I enjoyed it.”

“Your mother really loved my work as well.”

We both laughed at the memory of my mother kissing Harper on the cheek and telling her what a fantastic job she did. We’d shared a secret smile, not telling Mom I was the one who’d made the bouquets. And it made my insides warm to know Harper and I shared something the rest of my family wasn’t privy to. Especially my stupid brother, Sean.

“Come on, I’ll walk you down.”

I held up a hand. “No, no. You stay up here and enjoy your evening. I’ll see myself out.”

She bit down on her lower lip, and I had to drag my eyes away from her mouth. “Well, thanks for helping me today…and for the company.”

I gave a quick nod. “Sure thing. Enjoy your evening, Harp.”

“Bye, Declan.”

With one last glance over my shoulder, I forced myself to keep walking, even if she did look sad and lonely.

She was Sean’s girlfriend. That was a line I wasn’t going to cross.

No matter how much I wished she was mine.

Harper

Opening my tired eyes, I saw the most beautiful hazel gaze staring at me, desire burning in their depths. Or maybe they were green…I couldn’t tell through my pleasure-induced haze.

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