Page 9 of This Feeling

I glanced around the large reception room someone had booked for the party that was being thrown in my honor, taking everything in. It would all be left behind soon, and I wasn’t sure how to handle it. I’d been in the Marines since I was eighteen years old. Now, at thirty-five, I felt like I was about to start my life over again.

Someone came up behind me and slapped my back. “You ready to leave all of this behind?”

It was my best friend, Ron. We’d met in MARSOC and became instant friends.

“You mean no longer getting shot at all the time? Yeah, I’m ready to leave it behind.”

Ron raised a single brow. “Why don’t I believe you?”

I smiled. “Because I’m lying. I’m going to miss it, and miss everyone here.”

He handed me a beer and sighed as he also looked around the room. “Hard to believe you won’t be on the team anymore.”

After taking a long drink from my beer, I replied, “It’s time for me to take the next step in life, and that means leaving the Marines.”

“You’re sure this is what you want to do?”

I nodded. It had been a difficult decision, but it was time to move on. As much as I hated the idea of leaving the Marines, I needed to listen to my heart…and my gut.

We sat in silence for a few minutes before Ron asked, “You going home?”

I nearly laughed. Where else did I have to go? Sean and Harper had broken up though…so that was at leastonegood thing about returning. That is, unless she’d started dating someone else already. “Yeah. Moose Village, New York.”

“What will you do? Work-wise, I mean?”

I blew out a breath. “I already talked to an old high school buddy who works for the police department. His name is James. I’ll probably go that route.”

“Be a cop? I thought you’d like tostophaving people try to kill you.”

Shrugging, I said, “I don’t know what else to do.”

“Work for the family business?”

I gave him a dubious look. “You want me to be an accountant? I don’t think so.”

Ron started to laugh. “It would be safer.”

“And dull as hell.”

“That’s true. I’m sure your family will be happy to see you either way. When was the last time you were even home?”

I thought about my family. I’d missed them, but it seemed easier to stay away. Maybe not for them, but it had been for me. Now that Sean wasn’t dating Harper, at least I didn’t have to worry about seeing them together. It pissed me off that, even after all of these years, I still couldn’t seem to forget her. That the idea of seeing her with my brother still got under my skin.

And the fact that I’d purposely stayed away because of them, and no other reason, filled me with guilt.

“Yeah,” I said with a nod. “I’m sure they’ll be happy. My mother will be relieved I’m home for good.”

“It’s hard on our parents, doing this job. I don’t know how the guys who’re married even do it. Being gone all the time and away from your family.”

I nodded once again and glanced at Ron. “Do you think anyone would notice if I just slipped out? I hate goodbyes.”

Smiling, he put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “It’s been an honor serving with you, Declan. I’ll miss the hell out of you.”

“I’ll miss you as well. Stay safe, Ron.”

He gave a sharp nod, dropped his hand, then stood and walked away.

Taking one last look, I quietly slipped from the room, leaving behind the part of my life that had defined the man I was today. Starting tomorrow, I would be forging a new journey. I’d be heading to New York and going through the police academy. I had decided not to tell my family that I hadn’t re-enlisted in the Marines for a reason. I knew I would have to go through the academy and my mother would question my new career choice, and I really hadn’t wanted to argue with her. This was my life, my decisions, my choice.

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