Page 56 of Make You Mine

Maybe I’d be with her right now, instead of in my car driving to meet Jake, where hopefully he could help me sort out the mess in my head. How could I live without her now that I’d gotten a taste of what I wanted?

As I pulled into his driveway, I tried to steady myself. I knew this conversation could go one of two ways. Either Jake would confirm my fears, or he’d help me find a way forward.

I took a deep breath and stepped out, the cool evening air grounding me momentarily.

Violet greeted me at the door with a hug. Jake was already waiting for me in the living room, a look of concern on his face.

“I can see it all over you, man,” he said, leaning forward, his eyes searching mine. “You’ve got it bad.”

I ran a hand through my hair, frustration bleeding into my voice. “I’m a mess. I don’t know what to do. One minute, everything feels perfect, and the next, I’m drowning in doubts, and I’m afraid I’ll scare her off.”

He nodded, taking a sip from his mug of coffee. “You’ve got to stop overthinking it. Just be genuine and follow her lead?—”

“There’s something you don’t know.”

His eyebrows shot up. “Go on.”

“We were pretending. Paige suggested I bring her as my date?—”

“Ahh, I get you. Is that why you’re back on the RSVP for the gala this weekend? By the way, thank you for that. I did not want to go.”

I ran a hand down my face, embarrassed. “Yeah, I went to Twilight Tavern after the last dinner and ranted about it. Paige suggested Piper go with me, and I jumped at the opportunity.”

“Treat it like it’s the real thing. Show her you’re there for her, no matter what. Use the gala as an opportunity to show her how you feel. Or at least show her how a man should treat a lady.”

I took in his advice, rolling it over in my mind. “Alright, it couldn’t hurt, right?”

I was ready to face the truth. I wanted Piper, not just as a fake girlfriend, but as the real deal.

“It’s been a long time for you, hasn’t it?”

“What?”

“You know, dating, falling in love, all of it. You’ve been alone since Tabby died.”

“I was alone when she was alive, too,” I blurted.

“Yeah, she was so sick for so long?—”

“I mean—” I closed my eyes, finally ready to tell him the truth. “We never loved each other. I mean, we did, but not romantically.” I continued, feeling the weight of my confession. “But now, with Piper, I feel—everything. I haven’t felt this way in years, maybe ever.”

A shocked expression settled over his features before he bit out, “Damn it, Ren. Why didn’t you tell me? You know I wouldn’t have judged you.” He ran a hand down his face, nodding as his eyes filled with understanding. “You’re too good for this world. Tabby’s husband ran off. That’s why you stepped in. My god, I’m sorry I didn’t figure it out back then. I could have helped. You didn’t have to marry her?—”

“I wanted to. She deserved to be taken care of. She deserved love and protection. She was my best friend. She deserved the world and it fucking sucks that cancer robbed her of it.”

He placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. “You gave her everything you could. But now it’s time for you to find your own happiness, and it isn’t easy, not when you’ve spent your life taking care of everyone else.”

I looked down, taking in his words. He was right. My whole life, it felt like I was living for other people. My family, Tabby…

Could I really allow myself to pursue something for myself for a change? The thought of it was exhilarating.

“I want to be happy,” I confessed, feeling a surge of vulnerability. “But I don’t know if I remember how. Actually, I don’t think I ever knew how.”

He smiled. “You looked happy when you were talking about Piper. Feelings are real, even if the circumstances are not.”

“Okay, but she’s not ready, I know that. Also, what if she doesn’t feel the same way about me? What if she doesn’t want to go with me anymore?”

“She does!” Violet rushed into the room. “I only heard the last part, I swear. I wasn’t trying to listen in. She still plans on going to the gala with you. She asked me if Jake and I were going.” A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “We shopped for a dress together. We filled up carts all over the internet. She ended up borrowing one of my dresses, but I won’t tell you what it looks like. It’ll probably be bad luck.”

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