Page 42 of Tinsel in Telluride

“I really don’t think Martha has a cellphone, let alone is going to callThe Foul Line, but you’re right and I’m sorry.”

Compliments and apologies.

Who the hell is this man and what has he done with the asshole who can’t help but fight me?

“But honestly, it’s Chad the Cowboy you should be worried about.”

Ah, there he is.

“Your jealousy is showing,” I tease, narrowing my gaze as I prepare to go for the kill. “Bradley signed an NDA.”

His haughty grin falters. “What?”

“When we arrived, I had him and the other trail riders sign an NDA that they wouldn’t discuss any of us with the media. I just haven’t had the chance to have the rest of the staff at the house do the same.”

“Why would you do that?” His voice is a low, borderline menacing tone, as if I’m the one who did something wrong.

“Because, unlike the four of you, I have someone else to think about other than myself.” The way his face falls when I twist the knife I buried in his chest almost has me feeling bad.

I don’t actually think Martha is going to do anything with the knowledge. Luca is right. She’s old and couldn’t care less who we are. But a part of me just needed to prove a point.

He’s in over his head with Zach and me. Especially when he has no idea if Zach is even his. There are precautions that need to be taken. Having Zach’s favorites and writing a proposal isn’t enough.

Luca looks over his shoulder to where Zach is playing with his twin, a look like I just kicked his puppy etched on his face.

Damn it.

I didn’t mean to fuck this up.

Or maybe I did.

Why does this have to be so complicated?

Searching for safe waters, I step forward and change the topic. “You said you wanted to talk to me?”

“I did.” Luca turns and rests his elbows on the railing, gesturing for me to join him.

I do, and the two of us look out at where Zach is snacking with Enzo, while Holt and Bash are using the raspberries to give their snow woman nipples.

Fucking men.

“I’m sorry for how I reacted last night,” Luca starts. “And for telling Martha we were a family.”

I sigh. “Me too.”

“You were just trying to protect Zach.”

“That’s all I’m ever trying to do.”

There’s a stretch of silence, and Luca keeps his eyes locked on Zach like he’s trying to memorize every inch of him. “I just feel like I’ve missed so much.”

Luca hangs his head, and guilt smacks me across the face. Hard. I know I’m the asshole here, even if I only ever had the best of intentions. There’s a part of me that wishes I could give him my memories of all the big and small moments, while the other, larger part of me wants to scream,you don’t even know if he’s yours.

The first isn’t possible, and the second isn’t productive.

Luca knows the facts, but it’s the limbo we’re stuck in that’s hard.

Hugging him seems too personal, and words are nothing more than hollow sounds, but I want him to know I get it and I’m sorry.

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