Page 5 of Tinsel in Telluride

A lighthearted laugh escapes me, but it’s nothing but a cover for the hurt at my failure to give Zach the one thing he deserves.

A proper family.

When I found out I was pregnant, I’d never even considered Luca as part of Zach’s life. It would be too messy. Too complicated. And that’s assuming he’s his father. But since running into him eight months ago, I can’t say the notion hasn’t crossed my mind. Usually, it’s when I’m sleep deprivedand overwhelmed.Then I get some coffee in my system, and I remember I hate him, firmly squashing the wayward thought.

“I don’t think he’s lacking father figures,”Indie disagrees, gesturing to where Bishop and his teammates are still entertaining Zach.

“I’m not sure that’s a valid argument.” Willow chuckles. “I’ve seen the questionable decisions those men make on a daily basis. Again, all I’m saying is maybe use this time working with him to get to know him.” She reaches across the table and takes my hand in hers, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Then you can decide if telling him is what’s best for Zach.”

“I’ll think about it.” It’s not concrete, but it’s the best answer I can give while my heart is trying to reconcile that I have no choice but to face this. “But are you sure there isn’t any way I can have until after the first of the year to get this done?”

The holidays are already hard. The last thing I need is Luca to make them worse.

Willow winces, catching my apprehension. “I wish. But it’s my ass if it’s not on the commissioner’s desk by the thirty-first. So, no.”

Indie throws her arm around me and rests her head on my shoulder. Looking up at me, she bats her eyelashes sweetly. “Do you want us to hold your hand while you call him? At least you can’t fall on his dick from across the country.”

God, I love the way these women can be angry for me, challenge me, fight for me, then make me laugh when all I want to do is cry in the span of the same five minutes.

“No,” I huff, rolling my eyes. “I’ll do it tonight after we get home. It’ll still be early in Los Angeles after I get Zach to bed.”

“Fine.” Indie slumps back into her chair like I’ve just ruined her day. “But the offer still stands.”

“You just want to be a fly on the wall.”

She winks. “You know I live for the drama.”

Well, there will definitely be no shortage of that.

CHAPTER TWO

LEIGH

Anxiety makes a permanent home in the base of my stomach as I glance at the baby monitor on the kitchen island for the millionth time. If Zach moves—just a little bit or even whimpers—then I have an excuse to go to him and not make this call.

Of course he doesn’t.

The freaking traitor.

Doesn’t he know his mom is on the verge of a panic attack and could really use an out right about now?

As swiftly as the anger hits me, guilt slices just as deep.None of this is his fault, and it’s not his job to save me. He’s an innocent bystander in this mess.

But also, I didn’t ask for this.

Sure. Some people would argue I had sex with Luca, so it’s my own damn fault. To them, I raise a silent middle finger and say I didn’t know antibiotics could negate birth control for a number of days after finishing them. Was that irresponsible of me? Maybe. But I did my best to make sure this didn’t happen.

I’m not saying I don’t love my son. That sweet little boy who is obsessed with horses and afraid of his own shadow is my freaking world. That doesn’t mean there aren’t moments that brand me as human and make me feel like a horrible mother.

This is one of them.

The kicker is, I know one day he is going to grow up and ask about this. And when he does, I need to be able to tell him I did the right thing. I told the truth. I admitted my mistakes and owned my downfalls.

For him.

I’m doing this for him.

But not without a little liquid courage.

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