Page 18 of Renegade Ruin

“But Jackson is still here.”

“That’s the other thing I need to talk to you about.”

Fuck, the hits just keep coming.

“We want to move him to Oklahoma as well.”

“And you need me to sign off on it.”

Before Jackson and Norah got married, we gave each other medical power of attorney in the event something happened to us on the road. It’s why I’m allowed to be here and talk with the doctors even though I’m not immediate family. Every decision is run through me. And they can’t move him without my approval.

She nods again, solemnly.

“Lana, I?—”

“Please. Don’t say anything now. We don’t have to make any decisions today. I just wanted you to know before you head down for spring training, so you can decide what you want to do.”

No pressure.

“Okay.” That's all I can bring myself to say. I can’t even thank her for telling me, because how do you thank someone who has every intention of ripping away the last inkling of hope left in your life?

“I better get going. I need to get Phoebe before she inevitably talks Greta into sharing whatever sweets they have at the nurses station and ruins her dinner.”

“Yeah. Okay.”It’s something I wouldn’t have even considered.

Seriously, Jackson, what the hell were you and Norah thinking?

When I don’t get an answer—not even from the fucked-up version of him that stalks my mind—I glance over to the still form lying in the hospital bed.

Please, wake up, I silently beg.

Without another word, Lana gets up and leans over to press a kiss to Jackson’s temple and whispers something in his ear.

I look away, not wanting to encroach on this moment with her son. Out of the corner of my eye, I see her pause before she reaches the door, and I will the universe to make her go.

But I’m not that lucky.

“You’re allowed to grieve, Bishop. Just don’t lose yourself along the way.”

Before I can answer, she’s gone, leaving me alone with nothing but my thoughts.

No matter how hard I try to come to terms with everything I’ve done and learned today, I keep coming back to the same problem.I have no idea who I am anymore, only who everyone wants me to be.

The team wants me to be Bishop Lawson, star catcher of the New York Renegades.

Willow wants me to stand with them—lead them.

The press wants me to be their cover story.

Jackson and Norah want me to be a guardian to their daughter.

But none of those are who I am.

Because the truth is I’m lost.

I can’t retrace my steps. I can only move forward. And fuck if I know what comes next.

CHAPTER SIX

---