Page 71 of Renegade Ruin

It’s Norah again, always sliding in with the voice of reason. Except this time, she’s wrong. I can’t have feelings for Willow. I don’t. Not because she isn’t an incredible woman, but because nothing can come from this. She’s my boss, and I’m in no place to give her what she needs.

Is that it?Norah asks.

Yes. No.

I run a hand through my hair, cursing my best friend’s wife and her probing questions.

I know the reason. It’s the fear at the heart of everything. I can’t lose her like I lost them.

After I hit purchase, my phone buzzes and I see Lana’s name flashing across the screen. I wince as I swipe to answer, praying she isn’t calling to give me another lashing. The game was enough. I don’t need to be reminded I’m failing where Phoebe is concerned too.

Thankfully, I’m not greeted by the face of my best friend's mother, but instead by the smiling, toothy grin of my goddaughter.

“Uncle Bish!” Phoebe exclaims.

I smile, my heart so damn full at the sight of her. “Hey Short Stack, how are you?”

“I’m good. I’m sorry you lost your game.”

“You saw that, did you?”

She nods, her smile never faltering because to her the game is inconsequential. The only thing that matters is the man in front of her. Me.

Tears burn in my eyes at the realization. Damn, I needed this call.

Phoebe tilts her head to the side and frowns. “What’s wrong, Uncle Bish?”

I swallow hard and blink back the emotion in my gaze, hating that they have the power to dull the sparkle of my sweet girl. “Nothing, Pheebs. I’m just really happy to see you.”

“I’m happy to see you too!” She bounces in her seat, shaking the phone as she does. “Nana said I could call you and see if we could come down for a game when I’m on spring break.”

“You want to come down to Florida?” I’m caught off guard. I assumed Phoebe would want nothing to do with the team after losing her mom and almost her dad, but as always, she’s full of surprises.

“Uh-huh.” She nods, her high ponytail sliding across her face. “Nana says as long as you are okay with it, we’ll book the tickets tonight.”

“Let your Nana know I’d love for you to come down for a few days, and that I’ll take care of the flights if she sends me the dates.”

“Okay! I can’t wait to see you and meet the team.”

Phoebe keeps talking, and despite the fact I nod along, I don’t hear a word. I’m too consumed by the ringing in my ears and the metaphorical knife twisting in my chest.

I’m blown away. Stunned into silence.

“Uncle Bish?”

Her curious tone pulls me back to the moment, and I blink a few times and nod. “Yeah. That sounds great.”

“Okay. Nana says she’ll call you later.”

I nod again and smile. “I’ll be waiting by the phone.”

“I love you,” Phoebe says, and I feel its warmth through the phone.

“Love you, too, Short Stack. I’ll see you soon.”

“Byeeeeee!”

I swipe to end the call and let the silence of my haven away from the team wash over me, grateful they can’t see me on the verge of falling apart after a five-minute phone call with my goddaughter.

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