Page 93 of Renegade Ruin

As soon as I hear the door click, I slide from under the desk and storm toward Willow. “What the fuck was that?”

She has the good sense to take a step back, guilt plastered on her face. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” I growl, anger etched in my raised brow. “This is what you didn’t want to talk about? Instead, you gave me a blow job to distract yourself from the fact you threw me under the goddamn bus.” Turning away from her, I take up the pacing path I’d worn into the carpet before she arrived.I can’t look at her. If I do, I’ll lose it.

“I—you weren’t supposed to find out like this,” she stammers, her hand still very much caught in the proverbial cookie jar.

I roll my eyes, and I can’t hide the disgust that drips from every word. “No, you were going to get all your ducks in a row and present a case as to why I’m going to do this.”

From the corner of my eye, I see Willow drop her chin to her chest and wrap her arms across her chest, retreating into herself. “Actually, I was going to try and fix it before you ever found out.”

I stop mid pace and drag both hands though my hair, completely baffled. “I’m not sure which is worse. The fact that you would agree to it in the first place, or that you left me out of the loop completely.”

Her eyes snap up and lock with mine, tears falling freely.

I shouldn’t give a shit that she looks like she’s about to collapse with the weight of all this on her shoulders. I shouldn’t want to scoop her up and reassure her that we’ll fucking fix this—whatever it is.

But I do. I want to.

And then I want to punish her, so next time she’ll think twice before she shuts me out.

“What exactly did you agree to?” I ask, needing to make sense of this before I can decide if I’m walking out the door or taking her over my damn knee.

“The board of directors asked—demanded, really—that you and I are available for an interview during the Spring Training Gala.”

“And if we don't?”

She squirms under my unrelenting gaze. “I don’t know for sure. They implied they’d find a way to get the children down here to bring the spotlight of the night back to the Renegades.”

“Jesus, fuck. So, it’s me or the kids.”

Her lower lip trembles as she nods and confirms she’d fucked me over to save the kids.

I run a hand through my hair and tug at the roots. It’s exactly what I would have done in the same situation.

“Essentially, yes.” Overwhelming defeat lingers in her voice and hits me right in the gut. She sounds so much like me when I’m lost, haunted by my demons.

Damn it.

Every part of me wants to be mad at her, but I’m not. At least not for making the deal. She might have had every intention of deceiving me, but it was never done with malice in her heart. That’s not who Willow is.

Willow protects people. She protects me.

I take a step back and lean against the lip of her desk. Opening my arms, I leave the choice up to her if she wants to take the same lifeline she’s offered me time after time.

Her eyes search mine for any hesitation, and when I nod in reassurance, she doesn’t think twice. In three short strides, she closes the gap and folds herself against me. I wrap my arms around her waist and hold her.

She fits perfectly in my arms.

This is where she belongs.

Fuck.

No.

I shut my eyes and resist the urge to nestle my nose in her hair and inhale her sweet scent.

Nothing more than a lifeline, I remind myself. She’s a means to an end. I won’t go there. Going there means risking losing her in the future, and I’m done losing people.

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