Page 101 of Renegade Rift

“No. It’s easier like this. Your heartbeat against my ear is calming, and I like that when I’m in your arms, you can’t look right through me.”

“Is that what I do?” I want to tell her that mostly she reads like an open book regardless if I can see her face, but I like having her in my arms so I’m not going to argue.

“It’s unnerving, but also one of my favorite things about you.”

“I’ll take it as a compliment, then.”

She takes a deep breath, finding the courage I admire so much. “It was when you grabbed my hips.”

“Was I too rough?”

“It’s not that—I mean it is, but not because—I don’t mind it rough usually, but when Tyler would come home drunk or angry, he’d always want sex. And when he did, he would always dig his fingers into my hips hard enough that he left bruises. When you—” She tips her head back, and I see the panic in her blown pupils. “I know you would never, but the sensation caught me off guard and pulled me out of the pleasure of your mouth on me. It’s like the two sensations couldn’t possibly exist together. I just—” She lets out a frustrated sigh. “He doesn’t get to take his from me. He doesn’t get to break me.”

“You are so far from broken, Juliet.” I reach up and cup her jaw, running my thumb over her trembling lower lip, willing her to feel the honesty through my touch. “You’ve got more bravery in your pinky than most of the men I play with have in their entire bodies. The problem is you think you have to be invincible to prove you’ve overcome everything you’ve been through, and that’s just not true.”

“But what if I’m never normal again? What if I can’t be with a man without panicking?”

I’ve said it a million times, but each time I mean it a little bit more. I am glad Tyler is dead.

“Normal is overrated, and while I think you should probably talk to a professional about this, when it comes to dating, I can promise you any man who is worth your time will respect your boundaries and still have no problem making you come.”

“They will?” The hope in her voice kills me. Like she doesn’t quite believe me, but hopes maybe I’m right.

Which is why, once again, I’m more than willing to be the damn guinea pig, even if this all ends with her breaking my heart when she walks away.

“I’d be more than happy to show you.”

“You still want to—even after I ruined the mood?”

It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask if that was something my stepbrother did. Punish her for speaking up when she was uncomfortable, but I stop myself. He doesn’t deserve a single thought more from her tonight.

I reach up and take her face in my hands and brush my lips against hers. “Juliet, let me be very clear. I will never not want to make you come.”

“Then show me.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

JULIET

I look down at the hand Ford is offering me and without a second thought, place mine in his.

Even if I’m not invincible.

I’m also not broken.

I want this with him.

And even though just how much I do scares me a little, I am more scared that if I don’t push myself to experience these things in a safe way, then I’ll either never try to connect with someone again or will do so with a man who will take advantage of me.

What I don’t want to do is let Tyler take one more thing away from me.

Ford leans past me and opens the door before leading me into my bedroom. Once we reach the bed, he gives my hand a squeeze. “Wait here.”

I watch curiously as he heads over to the closet that is half my things and half his old team shirts and miscellaneous uniforms. When he turns around, he’s holding one of the bright orange belts he’d usually wear on game day.

“Your belt?”

“Can you trust me?” His lips tip into a mischievous grin, and for a split second, apprehension slithers through me. But I’m already standing half naked and have cried into his chest, so really what do I have to lose?

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