Page 53 of Empowered

Yet another tear escaped from the corner of my eye. I hated myself for crying so much. Embarrassed, I swiped my finger quickly to dry it before Shyam saw. I should have known better because nothing I did ever escaped his notice. His hand grabbed mine and squeezed it firmly in his. He rested our joined hands on his lap as he drove on.

The small private airport came into view and my heart dropped in my chest. He parked the car on the tarmac near the only plane in sight. I moved to open my door, but he pulled me to face him before I could. I stared into his sunglasses, seeing my sullen reflection. I moved my hands to the frames and lifted them off his face. Red, puffy eyes stared back at me, wet with tears, just like mine. My fingers trailed along his skin, studying his face—committing every detail to memory. I moved into him and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. His fingers weaved into my hair, holding me close to him one last time.

“I hate you,” I whispered as I cried. I didn’t understand why he couldn’t trust me enough to tell me why I needed to go, but I knew he still wouldn’t tell me if I pressed him.

“I know,jaan,” he said, kissing my cheek. “I’d rather you hate me if it meant you were safe.”

He pressed his forehead to mine, holding me close. I inhaled deeply, filling my lungs with his scent so I could store it away for a lifetime.

I said it one last time. “I love you.”

“I love you so damn much,” he said, looking into my eyes.

With that, he put his sunglasses back on like armor to protect him from the rawness between us. He exited the car and opened the door for me.

He handed my bag over to one of the bodyguards who would be accompanying me on the flight.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and took my first step toward the plane on shaky legs. Then another, and another, until I made it up the ramp, pausing before entering the vessel.

I turned back to find him leaning against the car with his hands in his pockets, facing me. From the outside, he was the picture of power and strength, but I knew the real man inside. Behind the money, guards, and even the sunglasses, he was just Shyam, the man who would forever be afraid to be truly open and honest with anyone, and most importantly, with himself. He was his own worst enemy.

I turned back around and entered the plane. There was nothing left for me here.

Chapter XXIX

Shyam

The rain pelted the window of my office. Despite being on the thirty-eighth floor, the noise from the storm outside gave me the sense that I was in a fishing boat, being tossed about the waves in the middle of a giant storm at sea. That would have explained the unsettling feeling in my gut and the eerie loneliness I felt in my vessel.The captain always goes down with the ship.

I sat in my chair looking out the window, examining how the droplets of water beat against the glass and following the wet trails they left as they slid down the surface. Spring was meant to be a cheerful time; however, it was anything but when the clouds overtook the New York City skies.

I wondered what the weather was like in Seattle. I imagined it was just as gloomy and rainy as the city. Was she staring out her window feeling just as miserable as I was? I hoped not. Was someone else making her smile? I’d kill him, even though she deserved better than what I could give her.

“I see you’re in the middle of something.” Jai’s voice intercepted the same series of thoughts that I had nearly every hour of every day. “I can come back if you’re too busy.”

Even after all of this, he was still an asshole to me.

I didn’t respond, too indifferent to turn my chair around and give him the attention he constantly needed as the younger sibling.

I heard the door click and his footsteps approach my desk. That was the other thing about little brothers—they never knew when they weren’t wanted.

The sound of the chair leather depressing under his weight irritated me. Loneliness was the only thing I wanted to keep me company.

He spoke, knowing I would listen to what he had to say even if I didn’t want to. “I spoke to Mikhail, my informant. It seems like the brotherhood likes the deal. Everything should be finalized soon.”

Good, then they could finally get off my back and leave me in fucking peace. The Russians had demanded a nine-month contingency plan to prove that we were serious about our contract. I was distrustful of everyone, but they took it to a whole new level. They had assumed we’d betray them from the moment we offered the deal. They wanted to pull our strings for months until they were sure it wasn’t a trick. But there was no trick. I just wanted Amelia safe and for them to give up their mission to retrieve her for their own musings.

“Is she safe?” I asked, still not looking at him.

“It took some convincing, but they don’t believe she’s anything more than a really intelligent programmer.”

Thank fuck for that. No one would ever know about our relationship. I hadn’t contacted her since she left for Seattle, against my own desires. I pulled up her number on my phone every night as I lay in my cold bed, my finger hovering over the phone icon. But I never went through with it. That was how I ended my nights, angry at the invisible wall that separated us—the one that kept her safe, but also made me a broken man. I’d toss my phone aside and roll over angrily, desperate for sleep to take me away from reality. But even in my sleep, her face haunted me. I was about five nights away from needing to be committed to an asylum or drinking myself to death. Knowing she was safe was the only thing that gave me solace.

“What are you doing?” he asked, his tone void of the bullshit he was always spewing.

“What does it look like? Knitting you a scarf,” I snapped.

“Shyam, you can’t run an empire like this. You’re driving yourself mad.”

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