“I’m sorry.” Her voice was small, coming from the opposite end of the table.
I stayed rooted in my spot, waiting for her to elaborate.
“I’m really fucked up. I don’t know how to explain it properly, so bear with me.” She drew in a heavy breath before continuing, “My parents died when I was eight.”
I blinked my eyes shut, remembering my own parents and how they had died when I was only a few years older.
“We were on our way to my grandparents’ house for Thanksgiving, and it was raining. The car swerved and rolled. My parents didn’t survive, but I did. Everyone said I was lucky to be alive, but I didn’t feel that way. My parents were never the warm-and-fuzzy type that kids were supposed to have. I ended up moving in with my even more emotionally distant aunt. She was a difficult woman to make mistakes in front of, and I was full of them. Hell, I guess I was the biggest mistake for her because she’d wound up raising a child that she never wanted in the first place.” Maris let out a sad chuckle that tugged at my heart. Her voice sounded so hollow, like she was moving through life playing the role of herself. The role that she believed everyone expected of her.
She continued, her shaky breath filled an endless pause to her explanation. “I use men to find the safety and comfort I never had in my childhood.”
I had been aware of her need for security, but I hadn’t realized she used men to fulfill it. The problem was too big for me to understand how deeply it ran, but I would try.
“And when I came here, I really tried not to slip into my old ways. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I’d been given a fresh start to learn to be alone, to create my own security. And I tried so hard to be strong. I mean…you’re…well,you…and it hasn’t been easy to resist.”
I grinned as her voice wavered.I wasn’t easy to resist.
“But I did it. And then just now, I sensed I was slipping back again, regressing into the me that I’ve never liked. I realized that this was different…like I wasn’t rushing through it to get to the part where I could push myself into your arms so you’d hold me. What we were doing made me whole.”
I had felt the same way when I was exploring her body. Like it was a part of me, a path that was okay to cross.
“Then, like a lightning bolt striking me, I realized that we are strangers. I don’t know anything about you. I was taking advantage of you…just like all the other guys in my past. They were all jerks who had been all too eager to sleep with me, but not you. You’re too good for that. I don’t want to do that to you. I never want to look back and lump you in together with them in my memories. You’re a good person who is always trying to help me, especially when you hate me, yet we barely know each other. I don’t even know your name, for Christ’s sake.”
She let out another laugh, livelier this time. “I’ve been calling you Cryptid in my head since we met.”
Cryptid?Like a mythical monster?
She approached, coming to stand a few steps behind me. “What’s your name?” Her voice was soft and gentle, as if we were meeting for the first time.
I wanted so badly to answer, to give up this farce, but she would hate me. With her history, I risked pushing her back into the protective shell that she had built from childhood. It was clear that she was having some sort of breakthrough in her own life, and I didn’t want to mess it all up. She couldn’t continue feeling guilty for corrupting me, when I was as fucked up as she claimed to be.
I turned around, showing her the man that she thought was full of good, with my hand still around my cock, my loincloth completely soaked with pre-ejaculate.
Maris was wearing her shirt again, now damp from the rain. Her attention bounced from the intensity in my eyes to my poorly concealed length within my grasp.
I should have hidden it from her, but I didn’t care to. This was all of me.
She stood there, as if unsure how to proceed. I had scared her frozen. Disgusted her with my barbaric ways.
If she had any sense, she would run far away, leaving this cryptid and this island behind.
“Do you touch yourself often?” she asked, her eyelids unexpectedly heavier than before.
My cock pulsed, acknowledging her question.
“Are you touching yourself because of me?”
Her curiosity disarmed me. It was direct, yet intrigued.
I nervously nodded my head.
She didn’t run.
“Does it feel good?”
I nodded.So good.
Her steps were slow as she crossed the distance between us, closing in on me like I was her prey, until she was right in front of me. I could smell the heady aroma between her legs. My blood rushed furiously. I administered a pump to alleviate the throbbing she caused.