Page 63 of Wild Life

My mind stretched to consider those new goals. “I guess I never considered it. How about you? Do you want those things?”

She shook her head frantically, disrupting Poaka’s peace. He fled her lap and ran for the trees, far away from the plastic fork. “No, no. Marriage isn’t my thing.”

“Why not?” A part of me was disappointed, even if she hadn’t specifically answered the part about having children.

“I’m not good at relationships. I purposely keep men at a distance. Hell, I’ve never really committed to anyone. I used random guys for comfort and safety, and I never really moved forward into something serious.”

“Why?” Hearing about her past men wasn’t easy, but I was curious to know what had scared her away from them.

“I’m afraid that things will end, and that I can’t control it. I guess it has something to do with losing my parents at such a young age.”

“So, you had boyfriends?” She must have had a few since she had lived in the modern world longer than I had.

“I’m not sure they would qualify asboyfriends. There were certainly guys I saw regularly.”

“Were you seeing guysregularlybefore you came here?” It turned my stomach to ask that question, yet I wanted to know.

“Kind of.” She blinked rapidly. “There was this one guy who was on my research team, on the boat that I was on before I fell overboard. His name was Eli. I had hooked up with him off and on for a few years, but he wanted more. I freaked out and ended things the night before the storm.”

I treaded carefully into this dangerous line of questioning, “Did he take it well?”

She shrugged and offered a half-hearted laugh that didn’t reach her eyes. “I don’t know. I kinda fell off the boat before finding out.”

I didn’t like this Eli. I was certain he was out there somewhere pining for her. I would have been too, if I had been in his place. Maris would have been difficult to forget. The memory of her would be far more painful than death.

“Would you go back if you were rescued tomorrow?” I asked, willing my voice to remain casual. If she scared away from relationships easily, then I needed to proceed with caution.

She remained quiet, her mind blaring wildly inside of her head.

“I won’t be offended by your answer.” I wanted her honesty, without worrying about me.

“Yes, I would go back,” she said.

If I could have traveled time and retracted my question, I would have. “This…thingbetween us would end?” I didn’t know how to label it now, especially since she didn’t like commitment.

“I wouldn’t want it to,” she admitted.

Maybe she’d want to carry on this relationship with me and Eli at the same time. The idea bothered me. I refused to share her. “It would have to end because I wouldn’t want to leave.”

She blinked slowly, stunned by my words. “Like, not ever? Not even for me?”

I could never go back. I had spent too much time away from civilization to be reintroduced again. Wearing clothes and working in an office would be too great an adjustment for me. I would find daily life miserable. Life here was the only one I was capable of enduring.

“I won’t be offended,” she repeated my lie to me.

I was afraid to voice my rejection. That I wouldn’t leave for anyone. My life was here, and if I left, I’d lose my purpose. I plastered on a weak smile and sat next to her, my arm brushing against hers. “Let’s not talk about things we don’t have to worry about anytime soon.”

“Okay.” Her head dropped onto my shoulder, and I rested my head on hers.

After some time, she spoke. “I would miss you, though—if it really happened and I was rescued tomorrow.”

I pressed a kiss to the top of her head, inhaling her spicy-sweet scent and committing it to memory. “I would miss you more than you could ever know.”

As uncertain as I was about our future, I was convinced that good things never lasted.

Could I ever go back to a life without Maris now that I knew what I would be missing? If she went back to her old life? To Eli?

Chapter 28

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