Page 83 of Wild Life

“And hopefully wise enough to stop these behaviors that don’t bring us joy.”

My aunt stood before me, for the first time, a defeated woman. She could conquer any task she set her mind to, except her niece.

“I really wanted to do right by you. To make you into a successful person,” she admitted.

“You have. I have a career because of your influence, but my path is different than yours. I am not you.”

Her head hung loosely above her sagging shoulders.

“I’m sorry, Maris. I wish I could have been the guardian you needed.”

“And I wish I could’ve just been your niece. We were forced onto each other in a way that neither of us wanted.”

She did something she’d only ever done once before. She pulled me in for a hug. I closed my eyes, feeling as I had at eight years old, at my parents’ funeral—like I had family.

“You have my support in anything you decide,” she whispered.

And I was finally grateful for that.

***

Aunt Sherri and I said our goodbyes, and she left my office just before I packed up for the day. I took the long way out of the building, needing to clear my head.

She had said she’d support me in everything I did from now on. I couldn’t tell if it had been a loaded message, or if that was how I had received it.

“Hey, Maris.” Malcom waved to me as I was passing his office.

I entered. “You’re back.”

“Just landed a few hours ago,” he said from behind his computer, his fingers moving over the keyboard, rapidly tapping keys.

“And you’re here working, when the workday is nearly over? Did you even stop home to shower off the airplane stink?”

“No rest for science,” he said without glancing up from his screen. That was Malcom, always preferring work over human interaction. Aunt Sherri would have loved to raise him.

I sat down in the chair across from his desk. “Isn’t that the truth.”

“Didn’t expect to see you back to work yet.”

“Yeah, I don’t do well playing patient.” My medical leave hadn’t yet expired, but it didn’t matter to me. I’d rather be at the university than haunted by thoughts in my empty townhome.

“We’re lucky that Eli found you. You were in the middle of nowhere. No one knew there was land there until he picked it up on the radar.”

I needed to reexamine the definition of this luck that everyone kept saying I had so much of, because I sure didn’t feelluckyat the moment.

“Yeah, that Eli is a leprechaun with a shit ton of gold coins.”

That distracted Malcom from his screen. “Still haven’t made up with him?”

“I’d prefer to ignore that he ever existed.”

Eli’s clinginess was a reminder of how destructive my past actions had been, and being around him only brought me back to that time in my life. After we had made it back to the States and I had regained my wits, I’d told him to fuck off. His attention had been suffocating and overstimulating. He hadn’t taken my request well and had berated me again for my relationship with Aleki and how I’d lost my standards when I’d fallen off the boat.

Eli was angry and he was allowed to be. But I couldn’t deal with him when I was hurting so badly, so I had never made contact again. He still worked for the university, and I avoided him at all costs.

“Are you okay?” Malcom asked. He knew all about my hospital stays and mental breakdown because he was the one who had urged the university to comp my travel expenses coming back to the States. It was also because of him that I still had my job despite questions about my competency to remain on the team.

I wasn’t okay, but it was too sticky a topic to dive into with Malcom.

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