Page 57 of Heart of a Devil

I consider the question. To some extent, it has.

He must see my uncertainty. “Is there anything else you need to tell me, Lauren? I’d ask Diego, but as of tomorrow he won’t have a tongue.”

I shudder a little at the image, but then I remember his stinking breath in my face as he forced me to bare my breasts to him. “There is something, actually,” I reply quietly. No sense holding back now that I’ve started. I pause, trying to find the right words.

“Am I supposed to know what it is without you telling me, cousin?”

“No, you asshole, just give me a second, will you?”

“Did you just call me an asshole?”

“Yeah, I did. You don’t scare me, Alejandro Montoya—I’ve seen you naked.”

“Not since I was seven. What is it? Do I need to be worried?”

“No, it’s nothing to worry about. But do you remember when that thing happened to me in Florida, and you and Jax came down to… help me out?”

His eyes flash with fury, his lips pressed together in a thin line of contempt. “Of course. Those cabróns who assaulted you. We were happy to help.”

“Well, it wasn’t quite as simple as I made out at the time. I told you they attacked me on my way home and that I was scared they were going to do it again.”

“I remember. Is that not the truth?”

I puff out some air and close my eyes for a second. This is a lot harder than I thought it would be. “It was worse than that, Alejandro. They kidnapped me and held me prisoner for days. I don’t think I need to spell out what they did to me while they had me, but it was as bad as you can imagine. I almost died, and now… Now I can’t have kids because of it. I haven’t told anyone apart from Seb, so please don’t be pissed at me.”

His eyes widen. “Pissed at you? That’s a million miles away from what I’m feeling right now. It breaks my fucking heart to know that you’ve been alone with this for so long. I would go back and kill them all over again if I could. And there is more than one way to be a mama, prima.”

Alejandro and Alana adopted their daughter, Lucia, and Alana needed fertility treatment to get pregnant with the twins. Theirs has not been a simple journey into parenthood. “I also don’t have to be a mama at all, if that’s what I choose, Alejandro. But there’s something else that I didn’t tell you. The men youand Jax dealt with? They needed to die. They’d done it before and they would have done it again.”

“You’ll get no argument from me there. The world is better off without them in it.”

I nod and bite my lip. Here goes. “So, long story, but I managed to escape from their ringleader, a guy called Brad Schmidt.”

He frowns, obviously recognizing the name. “He was your original client, yes? The cabróns we dealt with kept telling us that the person we really needed was Schmidt. We never could find him, though, and in the end we decided they were just covering their asses. I wondered why Torres sent an email that mentioned him.”

“You couldn’t find him because he was already dead. I killed him myself the night I got away. I have no idea if Torres knew that part or not, but… yeah. I shot his dick off, and he bled to death.” I thought it would be more difficult to tell him that, but it comes surprisingly easy. It’s as though saying the words somehow gives the whole situation less power over me. An unburdening of sorts.

My cousin is not a man who is easily shocked by life, but surprise flashes across his face at my words. He leans his chin onto steepled fingers, and I feel his silence so painfully, wondering what it signifies. One of the reasons I didn’t tell him about this is because I thought he would be horrified, possibly even disappointed in me. After claiming for so many years that I wanted nothing to do with the Montoya way of life, I go and kill someone?

“Are you angry with me?” I ask. “Are you disappointed?”

“The only thing that makes me angry is the way you keep jumping to conclusions about how I’m feeling. No, I’m not angry, and why the hell would I be disappointed? If anything, I’m proud of you—you did what you had to do, and that’s all thatmatters. I am, though, a little upset that you didn’t come to me for help with the cleanup. You are aware that I have experience with that kind of thing, yes? What if you left evidence? What if you were somehow linked to what happened? It could mean the end of your career, or worse, prison.”

I have to smile—only in my family could someone be more disturbed by you potentially leaving evidence than by the fact you murdered a man in the first place. “Don’t worry. I have two words for you—fire and alligators.”

He grins at me and nods. “Okay then. I feel better now. Is there anything else you want to tell me? Any more confessions?”

“That time when you were fourteen and learning how to shave? When someone replaced your shaving foam with mayo? That was me.”

He hums. “I smelled like a deli counter for days afterward. But it’s okay, I forgive you. Look, I’d better go—the twins need a bath before bedtime. But Lauren? Sebastian was right. It’s good that you told me, and I think that when the time is right, you need to tell Uncle Phillipe and Aunt Rachel about everything too.”

“Maybe. I’ll think about it. I’m worried that I’ll make them feel bad, make them think they should have noticed.”

“And maybe you’re right—but they’re your parents. They love you more than life itself. Have a little faith, prima.”

I stare at him through the screen and realize he’s right. It is time to stop letting my past define my future.

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