Page 19 of Marked

I lowered myself onto the top step, scanning the horizon for signs of Noah. They’d only been gone a short while, yet I felt the loss of his nearness deep inside.

“Let me guess. Russian owned casinos?”

“You got it in one.”

“It’s more than we had. I’m surprised his lawyer’s letting him open his mouth for anything other than taking in oxygen.”

“He’s not. You can thank Nelson for anything we have. He’s like a dog with a bone.”

“It doesn’t sit well with me, Waverly,” I complained. “I hate not doing anything while the rest of you are busting your asses.”

“Yeah, well, you being six feet under wouldn’t sit well with me, so suck it up, buttercup.”

I snickered. “Point made.”

“Hear me, Lanie. This will all be over soon. Trust me…trust us to handle this for you.”

We hung up a few minutes later, once I promised not to be late with my call tomorrow. Rather than heading back inside, I stayed on the steps, enjoying a rare moment alone. With a snow-capped Pike’s Peak providing the perfect backdrop, I drew in my first full, unencumbered breath in a week. We were safe.

Ever since the DEA dropped their little bomb, my mind had been twisting faster than a Midwest tornado tearing across an open field. There wasn’t time to fully process anything before Noah and I took off, but the what-ifs surrounding it all had been plaguing me our whole trip.

What if the DEA had waited one more day to tell us about the threat?

What if I’d gone home alone after the wedding? Or worse. What if Hadley had been with me instead of Noah?

What if?…What if?

As if that wasn’t bad enough, I kept thinking about Brandon. Was I somehow responsible for his death? Quite possibly. And the knowledge of that, along with a hefty doseof remorse, had me rethinking a whole slew of choices I’d made.God,the guilt was suffocating.

My thoughts were spiraling out of control and I didn’t know how to stop them. Or even if I should.

“Whatcha thinking about so hard?”

Noah crouched in front of me, his fingers brushing a lock of hair behind my ear.

“Where are Dad and Leland?”

“Darlin’, you were so lost in thought, they slipped right past you.”

“Darlin’?”

“Just go with it.” He shrugged. “Now answer my question.”

“Nothing worth mentioning.”

Rising to his feet, he turned then lowered himself to the step beside me. He angled his body toward mine and picked up my hand, holding it securely between both of his.

“Try again.”

How could I possibly explain it to him when I didn’t understand myself? We took an oath of office to defend the country against all enemies when we graduated from Quantico. I’d done my job and I’d done it well. So why was Brandon Little’s death sitting in my gut like a giant boulder?

“You’re taking on blame for something that isn’t yours to shoulder, Lanie.”

“How do you know?”

“I recognize the signs.”

“Tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine,” I whispered.

---