Page 115 of Counting On You

Chapter Thirty

Kaiden

Our beach has becomeour very own private resort. Far away from the rehab building, it’s our safe haven. We’ve visited it every day after rehab, sometimes twice—so many times that I’ve lost count.

It’s been endless hours of talking and lovemaking. I can’t even call it fucking any more because it would cheapen the experience. It would cheapenher.

Those are my beautiful moments.

I don’t think you can count them. I don’t think you can measure happiness. Every breath I take is with her.

It’s become our breath.

Vicky lifts her hand, intertwining her fingers with mine.

In the lightening sky, she looks more breathtaking than ever, with her hair wild and her cheeks still flushed from my kisses.

“You know, I never expected things to turn out this way,” she whispers. “It seems like my whole life I waited for something to happen. But this rehab thing wasn’t it. ” She laughs softly, the sound dark and sad. “My poor mom—I hate to disappoint her after all she went through with my dad.”

Pulling her to my chest and the blanket over her shoulders, I prop my arm underneath my head and wait for her to continue.

She remains quiet for a few seconds while her fingers are tracing circles across my abdomen. Every touch makes me breathe hard. I want to kiss her, to take her again, claim her body as many times as I can. But there’s something in the silence surrounding us that keeps me from doing so.

Vicky’s relaxed, on the verge of falling asleep in my arms. Those moments are so rare that I can’t let it slip.

Above us, the night is turning into dawn. The red rim of the sun is stretching over the purple-blue shaded horizon.

Suddenly, I want her to talk. I need to know more about her.

“When you were cutting my hair, you mentioned something about your father. You talk about him like he’s not in your life anymore,” I say.

“That’s because he isn’t.” She pulls away from me and flips onto her stomach, placing her hand under her chin as she looks up to me. “He ditched my mom when I was fifteen. I haven’t heard from him since. I have no idea where he is or what he’s doing. My best guess is that he has a new family and has forgotten about us. Rumor has it he got someone knocked up while he was still married to my mom. She’s still paying off his debts.”

“I’m sorry.”

She shrugs. “It’s no big deal. I’m a big girl now. I can deal with stuff like that. My mom believes that my father’s walking out on her is to blame for my mental breakdown. Is she right?” She pauses, grimacing. “I don’t know, but it was hard for us, more for me, because I was real close to my dad. His sudden decision to cut ties with us left me feeling depressed and guilty. I try to hate him for all the pain he’s caused my mom, but I can’t. My therapist says that my love addiction is a coping mechanism. That the feeling of having lost my dad got to me so much, it’s become normal for me to get attached to a new guy to try and replace the connection with my dad.”

“She might be right.”

She cocks her head to the side, a soft smile playing on her lips. “Hey! Aren’t you supposed to be on my side?”

“I am.” I roll one of her perfect curls around my finger, tugging gently. “But as your friend, I’m also supposed to tell you the truth. What about your siblings?”

“My brother’s great. He spends all his time playing video games with his best friend. But my sister? She’s a real pain in the ass.”

I let out a laugh and she shoots me an annoyed look.

“Trust me, that’s the kind of sister you don’t want to have. She’s annoying as hell, and competitive, but she knits a damn great sweater to keep you warm, and I love her to bits.”

“But it’s nice to have family.” My words come out a little too bitter and envious. I realize that too late.

“Yeah, it is. What about you? Do you have a good relationship with your parents?” She regards me intently, her beautiful eyes two dark spots that penetrate the walls I thought were impenetrable.

“The two people I call my parents are dead,” I say.

Her easygoing expression slowly disappears. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” I whisper. “Unfortunately, we can change the past just as little as we can predict the future. My parents adopted me from an orphanage when no one else would. You see, it’s hard for orphans to be placed in new homes. More so for boys than for girls. You see your friends go, then make new ones, only to see them leave, too. After a while you begin to feel unwanted. Like nobody gives a fuck about you.” I grimace as the memories I thought I had left behind come back to haunt me. “I tell myself that both of my biological parents were drug addicts. That’s the only excuse I can think of as to why anyone would abandon their three-day-old child.”

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