Page 141 of Counting On You

I watched Kade leave through one of the windows on the first floor, half hidden behind the curtains. I didn’t think anyone had noticed me. I didn’t think anyone would notice me seeking that particular spot, reliving the memory of Kade getting into the car, his somber expression, the dark circles beneath his eyes.

“I happen to like that window.” I nod, eager to believe my own lie, if only I could.

“So you say. I have something for you.” Sylvie hands me a bag I didn’t notice before.

“What is it?”

“It’s yours. I mean, it belongs to you.”

My heart skips a beat as I peer in and realize it’s a large blue box—the same one I left on his bedside table, unopened.

“Why are you giving me this?” My voice breaks. My body’s shaking.

I can barely breathe.

“Kade,” she says as if the name’s explanation enough. “He asked me to give it to you Told me to hold on to it until the last day. I didn’t ask what it was or why.” She eyes me expectantly as I lift the box out of the bag and turn it in my hands.

“Don’t you want to open it?” Sylvie prompts.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

Because it hurts too much that he’s gone.

There’s nothing that could change our circumstances.

“I can do it for you,” she says.

I take in her eager expression.

It’s only a gift.

Except, it’s his, and whatever it is, it means the world to me.

A gift that will make me want him even more than I already do.

My first impulse is to ask her to take the gift back and never talk about it again, but instead I find myself holding my breath, hesitating, wondering, wishing.

It’s only a gift.

It can’t hurt me more than I’m already hurting.

“I can see what it is and then decide for you whether you’ll like it,” she suggests.

I nod. “Alright.” I hand her the box and turn away as she opens it. Holding my breath, I wait for her reaction. Something. Anything. Sylvie remains quiet.

I turn around, frowning. “What is it?”

“It’s…a book,” she says somewhat incredulous, as if he’s gifted me a goat. “Anoldbook.”

I take the box from her outstretched hands and peer inside, instantly laughing.

It’s not just any old book.

It’s a first edition ofPride and Prejudice,in pristine condition.

Definitely a collector’s item that must have cost a fortune.

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