Page 159 of Counting On You

He’s right. But only almost.

He’s so close to the truth it hurts.

“You have no idea how hard it was for me to see you in that hospital bed. I’ve never felt so helpless in my life. The knowledge that I’m to blame for you getting into that car made it even harder. I’ll never forgive myself for letting you go.” My honesty surprises me, but Gracie’s right. I need to be frank with him because he’s the only man I ever loved.

The man I almost lost, because we were stupid and reckless.

After months of worrying, it feels almost surreal that he’s alive and well. I feel as though any minute someone might pierce the bubble of my reality and I’ll discover that it was nothing but a beautiful dream.

“None of what happened was ever your fault, Vicky,” he says softly. “I know how hard it all was on you, because at some point your voice pushed through to me. I heard everything you said. Your feelings. Your fears.”

“I didn’t really think you would. I just needed to tell you how I felt.” My voice breaks and my cheeks flush.

That only thing that kept me going was my own need to hold on to faith. It was all a coping mechanism in case he wouldn’t wake up.

“I heard every word, even though it took me a while to grasp the meaning of it all.” He falls silent for a few moments, his eyes glazing over as if he’s thinking back. “I don’t remember much, but I remember your voice. You were the light in the darkness surrounding me. I woke up because of you.”

“You don’t need to say that.” I almost choke on my words.

“If only you could see the truth.” He closes the distance between us. The immediate proximity is more than I can bare.

Our time together feels like it all happened yesterday. It’s all still raw and sweet, and so very painful.

“You saved me, Vicky,” Kade says gently. “You took a part of me and kept it safe. Why did you leave?”

“I didn’t want you to thank me.”

He leans into me, pressing gently into my pregnant belly.

His hands go on either side of my face, trapping me in between them.

“We both know that’s not true.” The seriousness of his voice cripples me. Something flashes across his face. Determination. Knowledge.

I know what he wants me to say, but damn him. I’m not going to be the one to speak the obvious.

“You’re scared. Confused,” Kade says. “I want you to know that I don’t care whose child it is. I want to take care of you.”

My heart slams hard against my ribcage.

“This child might not be mine, but it doesn’t matter. If you had read my texts, you would know that.”

He takes out his cell phone and begins to scroll through countless messages.

My breathing stops as I start to read.

You’re my drug.

The thought scares me, and yet if feels so very true.

You will always bemy drug.

I want to be there for you the way you were there for me.

You can count on me…always.

“Don’t shut me out, Vicky. I care about you and your wellbeing. No matter what happens, I’ll always care for you. Friends or no friends, I mean every word.” He points at one of the messages. “You can always count on me. All that I ask of you is that you don’t push me out of your life. Let me help you.”

I look up at him, confused. “Help me?”

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