Page 160 of Counting On You

“To raise the child.”

My heart skips a beat, then another, as the meaning of his words slowly begin to sink in.

He thinks someone else might be the father. That’s why he wanted to know whether I had gone back to Bruce; whether I was seeing anyone. It probably makes perfect sense from Kade’s point of view.

I take a sharp breath to brace myself for what I’m about to say. “There hasn’t been anyone since you, Kade. You’re the father.”

He stares at me blankly.

I let the words sink in, watching his emotions change as everything falls into place.

There’s shock, then disbelief, then shock again. “I thought you were on the pill.”

“I was.” I nod gravely, unable to make out what he’s thinking. “I don’t know what happened.”

The situation is charged with emotions. I’m so nervous, I can barely think straight. I want him to say something, do something, instead of just stare at me.

His eyes shimmer, and in that instant I realize he’s fighting with himself just as much as I am.

“I thought…” He breaks off and laughs. For some reason, he’s relieved. I can work with that. “When did you find out?”

“I had to go in for a health test before I could resume my position with Moses Cone Hospital. They told me I was four weeks pregnant, which means you’re the father. I…” My voice shakes. “And I chose to keep it.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because…” I hesitate. What can I say? That I was afraid he might think I got knocked up on purpose? That I might be the kind of woman who’d try to tie him to her by tricking him?

I swallow nervously. “The day I heard about the accident, I felt like my whole world had just crumbled. I prayed that you’d wake up. But days passed that turned into weeks, and nothing happened. Eventually, I started to ask myself. What if he doesn’t make it?” I pause to read his reaction. His face remains blank, so I continue, “I’ll be honest with you, Kade. I didn’t think you’d make it. No one did. But I had faith.” My hands cup my belly and the life growing inside. “This child gave me hope. I figured even if I lost you, at least a part of you would always be with me. I didn’t avoid you because I didn’t want you in my life, Kade. It was the fear of losing you all over again that kept me away from you. I was afraid that you wouldn’t feel the same way about me.”

“Vicky—” His fingers settle beneath my trembling chin, drawing my mouth to him. But I’m not done. Now that I’ve started, I want him to know everything.

“No.” I shake my head again. “Please let me finish. I want to be with you, and that goes against everything you ever wanted out of us. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the pregnancy. But I couldn’t risk you trying to persuade me to get rid of it. You see, if I thought if I couldn’t have you, at least I’d have him.”

He sucks in a sharp breath and anger mirrors in his eyes.

This is exactly the kind of reaction I feared he’d show.

Stupid me for ever hoping for something else. Of course, everything he said in those text messages were nothing but empty words. Faced with reality—the possibility that this child might be his—he was bound to change his mind.

“Don’t worry,” I say, smiling bitterly. “I’ve got it all figured out. Mom’s helping me raise him. I don’t expect anything from you. There are absolutely no expectations, no—“

His lips crash against mine—wild and passionate, cutting off my words. It takes me off guard, and for a moment all I can do is stand rooted to the spot as I fight to grasp the meaning of it.

For the life of me, I’ve no idea what he’s doing.

Is it desperation? Lust?

Because that’s how it feels, and more.

He pulls back.

“No one but us is raising this child.” In spite of his smile, his tone is sharp and decisive, but also full of unspoken promises.

I stare at him warily. “What?”

“You heard me. We’re going to raise him together. We’re going to be a family, dammit.”

“I don’t understand.” I search his gaze for a sign that he’s not saying what I just heard. “But I thought you didn’t want a family?”

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