Page 84 of Counting On You

“What?”

“Before I got to know you better. I don’t want you to do something you might regret.”

“What if I don’t care?” She lifts on her toes, bringing her lips close to mine. “What if I want us to hook up?”

“Is that really what you want?” I ask.

She nods her head. “I want to feel it. I want to feel you, Kade. You’re the only one who understands. The only one who doesn’t judge me.” Her arms wrap around me, and even though it’s stuffy in here, I can feel her shivering through her thin dress. “Please. It’s been too long. I need to feel normal again.” She leans her head against my chest and her fingers start to unbutton my shirt.

I can feel myself hardening. If she doesn’t stop, I know I won’t be able to control myself.

I press my fingers against hers, stopping her movement.

Every fiber of my being demands that I take her, right here, right now.

If only it didn’t feel so wrong.

I know what she wants, but I can’t give it to her. She’s too fragile, too important to me. I don’t want to break what we have, but I also don’t want to miss the chance. “I’m a sex addict, Vicky.”

“We’re all addicted to something that makes us feel good, Kade.” Her hand pushes my shirt aside and begins to draw circles on my chest. “Talking about addictions, my addiction’s more fucked up than yours.”

I shake my head. “I don’t think so.”

“Let’s agree to disagree.” She flattens her palm, and her gaze searches mine. “Are you going to kiss me now?”

I hesitate.

It’s not confusion that’s clouding my mind. I know I want her. I’m hesitating because this feels different from the countless hook-ups I’ve had before. I should never have challenged her. Now I have no choice than to go with it and see where it leads us.

I cup her face and bring my lips down on hers, whispering, “I was going to kiss you, anyway.”

Without wasting a second, my mouth is on hers, demanding.

Her lips are softer than expected, reminding me of flower petals, the touch of a soft, winter breeze. She tastes of roses, too. It’s her skin. The same scent that lingered on my pillow long after she left my bed. It sets my whole body on fire. I let out a groan as her hands move down my chest, past my abdomen.

It’s a game of fire and lust.

I’m about to guide her fingers to my hard-on when the lights go out.

We’re engulfed by darkness.

“Did you just switch off the lights?” I ask, peeling my mouth from hers.

“Yeah?”

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” Vicky whispers. “Habit, I guess.”

I set my jaw, knowing that she can’t see me. I reach across her shoulder and pat down the wall until I find the switch to turn the lights back on.

“When we’re doing it, I want to do it on my terms.” I lift her arms over her head. “I want to see you. The real you. With all your faults, your mistakes, your baggage. Not some woman I’m kissing in the darkness. I want you to know that it’s me who’s here with you, at the worst of times, in the worst of all places, about to make the worst mistake.”

Her lips are swollen, her eyes hooded with desire. “You aren’t a mistake, Kade.”

“No, Vicky.” I shake my head. “But you might be one to me. If anyone finds out about this, I started it. Got it?”

She nods her head and lets out a shaky breath as my hands circle around her small waist. In one swift motion, I turn her around. Her back is turned to me, her chest heaving with excitement. I kiss her neck softly. She lets her head roll back against me and tilts her head to accommodate me.

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