Page 60 of Wild For You

“We should go to the hospital,” I say. There’s no swelling yet, but she could still have a head concussion.

“No.” It’s the first word she’s spoken since we got back inside. Her eyes are wide as she peers at me. “It’s just a scratch, Cash.”

“I want you to get it checked out. Just to make sure everything’s okay.”

“I said I’m okay,” she says feebly.

Ignoring her wish, I call my father, and then I make sure she lies down as we wait for him. Under different circumstances, I would be the one to drive her to the hospital. The thought makes me angry, and I realize I can’t live like this. I can’t be helpless all my life and rely on others, not when I haven’t tried to change something about it.

The color is slowly returning to her cheeks, but the fact that she’s not talking bothers me. I’ve seen so many accidents in my life that nothing really fazes me. But this is different.

For some inexplicable reason, I seem to doubt my judgment that she will be fine.

I soak a towel in cold water and place it on her forehead, then sit down beside her.

“What are you doing?” Erin asks in half protest, half surprise.

“Making sure your brain’s not swelling. It’s the only thing I can do,” I mutter.

“I shouldn’t have jumped onto that tractor.”

“This isn’t your fault. I shouldn’t have made you leave. I’m to blame for everything” I avoid her gaze.

Another thing that I’ve screwed up. Maybe my family’s right about me. Maybe all I ever do is hurt the people I care about.

Erin’s hand finds mine and she gives it a light squeeze. “If I remember correctly, you asked me to stay.”

I stare at our fingers, the way they seem to fit. I liked kissing her. I like her touch. But more than that, I like her.

“I gave you no choice.” I withdraw my hand as I think back to our little disagreement. “I’m sorry, Erin. I know words can’t ever be enough, but it’s how I feel. I can be such a jerk.”

“I couldn’t agree more.”

I sense her smile and look up to “I wish you wouldn’t agree, but I guess I deserve it.”

She nods and her eyes sparkle with something that wasn’t there before. “Being a jerk doesn’t change the fact that you saved me. You made it in time.”

“The operative words are ‘in time’,” I say grimly. “I meant it when I told you that I wanted you to stay. I want you here. I want to do therapy with you, and no one else.” I’m surprised by my raw honesty and how much I need her to understand that she can’t leave. Not now. Not when we haven’t figured out what’s going on between us. I can hear the urgency in my voice, the desperation, the distress. I want her to help me walk again. But more than that, I want things to be okay between us.

“You don’t really mean it, Cash,” she says softly. “You’ll change your mind, and that’s why I can’t be here anymore. I can’t start each day, wondering, guessing. That’s just not me.”

“I mean it. I want your help.” Leaning into her, I cup her chin between my fingers, forcing her to peer into my eyes, into my soul. I want her to feel what I feel. “When you were unconscious, I felt powerless. You made me realize that I can’t do it on my own.” My thumb grazes her lips, my eyes pleading with hers.

“I…” She opens her mouth in response, and the memory of our kiss flashes before me.

The sudden realization that I need her help isn’t the only reason why I can’t let her go.

Somehow, at some point, I’ve grown to like her more than I should. She’s started to be in my thoughts at the most unfortunate of times, like when I try to focus on work. I don’t want her gone because I fear she won’t be easily forgotten.

“Stay, Erin,” I whisper. “Stay here. For a while. For as long as it might take.”

To see where this might lead, I want to add.

“How can I believe you? One minute you ask me to go, and the next you want me here. How can I trust this isn’t just a mood swing?”

“Because this accident has opened my eyes. I was wrong to send you away.” I hesitate, unsure how much I can open up to her. In the end, I decide to go for it because there’s nothing to lose. “I’ve been working out every single day since that damn accident. But I still can’t walk.”

“You’ve been training on your own?” She sounds genuinely surprised.

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