"Wait,you're telling me I knocked you out before?" Carsyn laughed with tears in her eyes.
The food had come and gone, and we talked and laughed the whole time. I could tell Carsyn enjoyed herself, but a part of me still felt unsettled. I knew I would have to work extra hard to make this thing work.
After leaving the restaurant, we went to the lake. Carsyn and I held hands as we walked near the water.
"You did. It was for real too. I didn't just let you do it, either."
"Wow, I must have really been good."
"You are good."
"How if I can't remember any of it?"
We stopped walking and I turned to face my wife. Shit would be tough for both of us, but she had to know that I had her.
"What did I say, Carsyn? You are still good, shit great. No matter what happens, you will be one of the greatest women fighters. Your name will continue to be mentioned for years to come. You're a part of history, baby, and nothing could take that away from you."
"Thank you for that, Noah. This is all too much for me, and I don't know how to take it."
"Like the champ you are. It's going to be a process, and it is going to take time. Are you ready to head back home?"
"Yes, please. It's gotten a little chilly," Carsyn stated as she rubbed her arms.
I looked down at the dress she wore, and in any other circumstance, I knew we would go home and have sex until we exhausted ourselves. I didn't know when or if we would have sex again. I missed the intimacy that Carsyn and I shared, and I prayed we would get it back one day. I was patient, so I would wait for as long as she needed me to.
We walked back to the car, and I shared more stories about the beginning of our relationship. Carsyn had gotten out of her head about her career, at least for the moment. More than likely, it would come up again, but I was okay with that. So far, she didn't need me to repeat anything I already told her, so I assumed that was a good sign. I had done some research after the doctor gave us her diagnosis, and some people needed to be told the same things repeatedly. That hadn't happened, so hopefully, things were on the right track.
"I love this house," Carsyn commented as we pulled into our driveway.
She had fallen asleep in the car, and I was deep in my thoughts about our future. I welcomed the silence. I didn't want her to see how unsure I was about things. The date was great, but I didn't know if we would have more moments like that or if she would wake up one day and decide she didn't want to be with me anymore. The thought of her leaving me scared the shit out of me.
"It was the first and only house we looked at. You fell in love with it the moment you saw it, and we wasted no time putting in an offer."
"Oh." She unbuckled her seat belt and looked at the house again.
"You ready to go in?"
Carsyn nodded, so I got out and walked around to her side of the car. I opened the door and stuck my hand out to help her get out.
We walked up the steps and into the house hand in hand. It felt like old times for a quick second, but I knew we were going to part ways shortly, and the thought saddened me. Carsyn may not have known it, but I slept in the guest room the previous night. I was technically a stranger to her, and I didn't know how she felt about me sleeping with her. She was out of it once she took the pain medicine, so she probably didn't notice. Plus, I was too afraid of her rejecting me, so I hadn't bothered to ask her if she wanted me in the room.
"I'm going to go shower and change," Carsyn stated as she took her shoes off by the front door.
"Okay. Do you need any pain medicine?"
She hadn't complained of pain, but I still wanted to check on her. Carsyn, before the incident, kept her aches and pains to herself at times, so I wasn't sure if she would continue that now.
"No, I think I'm okay. I've been meaning to ask you a question." She walked toward the couch and sat on the arm of it.
I sat down on the couch across from her.
"What's your question?"
"Did you sleep in the bed with me last night?"
I inhaled deeply and ran a hand down my face. I never lied to my wife, and I wouldn't start now.
"No. I wasn't sure if you wanted me to or not."