Page 20 of Cutthroat

Eden nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound of Jermaine’s loud outburst.

“Jerry had tracked us down,”

He had never spoken about the things he witnessed and now that he was, he couldn’t stop. He needed to purge himself.

“At the sound of the first shot, I ran down the hall. He shot Josiah in the chest. My mother was wailing, cradling my brothers’ dead body. There was so much blood that it looked black.

I watched her try to scoop blood and bone fragments back in his tiny chest and breathe in his mouth. She rocked him back-and-forth, calling his name, trying to get him to wake up, but Josiah was gone. I was frozen. Paralyzed from shock and fear.

While my mom was cradling their dead son, my father was grinning like it was the funniest thing in the world.

He said, “If I hurt, you hurt too!”

I never knew what that meant because my mom had never done anything to hurt him or anyone else. Jerry looked so demonic. Eyes bloodshot, pupils as large as the irises, nose running. But I could tell my mom didn’t hear him. She was too busy apologizing to Josiah and me. Screaming “I’m sorry,”

But Jerry kept laughing. He turned around, sniffed the air, and grabbed one of the steaks and ears of corn that we were supposed to have for dinner. He said, “This is a damn good dinner Andy,” He sat there eating dinner while my mother cried over their child. He just didn’t seem to care. It’s like Josiah always rubbed him the wrong way.

After he killed my brother, ate our food, he raised his shotgun and shot my mother in the face. Then he pulled her pants down, inserted the barrel and pulled the trigger again. I literally watched him insert the barrel of a shotgun in between her legs and blow the top half of her body across the room. There was nothing left of her. You’ll never understand how much I hate my father.

That’s the story of my childhood. I know you’re probably wondering what that has to do with anything. In my mind, anytime something good comes into my life, I find a way to sabotage it because I’m damaged. I can admit that. I should’ve admitted that a long time ago and given you a choice.

I love you, Eden. Besides my mother and Josiah, I never loved anyone. That’s why this situation really did destroy me. I know I don’t deserve another chance because I was wrong. But if you give me a chance to get into therapy and fix us, I promise, I’ll never let you down again,” Jermaine said truthfully and sincerely.

He now knew what it was like to be without his wife. He wanted no parts of the single life.

“I didn’t know you experienced something so tragic. I can understand why you kept this from me. I can’t lie and say this won’t be hard Jermaine, but I don’t want to give up on my marriage. I think withcounseling, you’ll be able to cope with your childhood trauma, and eventually we’ll be able to put this behind us. Look, I need to process this. I’ll call you in a couple days so you can pick me up and bring me home,” Eden said before ending the call.

“And scene,” Eden said as if she were ending a stage play.

“Bitch you’re stupid!” Eve laughed. Seeing how her sister switched roles was comical and quite scary. It almost reminded her of Envy.

“A man’s pride will always be his downfall. Only a prideful man would believe a woman would take him back with no consequences after sleeping with her sister. He truly believes that all he had to do is tell you how his mother died and there will be no ramifications for his actions,” Marie laughed.

“Sucks to be him. Forgiveness is not on the menu,” Eden smirked.

CHAPTER 10

THREE MONTHS LATER

Jermaine stood at the entryway of his kitchen watching Eden in awe. Butterflies flapped in his stomach as if he had just seen her for the first time. He had seen this sight, her moving around the kitchen like a Top Chef, several times over the years. But now he watched her with a new appreciation. Since starting counseling, he now felt whole and unburdened.

He hadn’t realized how his behavior, views on women, and actions stemmed from childhood trauma. His therapist explained to him that vices such as womanizing, being hypersexual, and addiction were ways of self-gratification to fill the void from his childhood.

He had never thought about that before, mainly because he never thought about it. But after listening to what his therapist had to say, he had to agree that the words she spoke made sense.

There had been many times after a rendezvous where he felt empty and alone. However, he never felt that emptiness with Eden. Though he felt like he hadthe whole package with her, the nagging voice in his head constantly told him that she wasn’t enough. Since seeing a therapist, that voice had silenced. He felt less burdened and now he could genuinely appreciate the woman that he married. Creeping behind her, Jermaine wrapped his muscular arms around Eden’s waist.

Eden screamed.

“Oh my God! What are you doing here?”

She asked as she gripped her chest.

“I’ve been standing here for ten minutes just admiring you. You got in here smelling good. What are you cooking?” Jermaine asked as he bit her ear.

Eden sent up a quick prayer, “God thank you for talking me out of putting this Thallium in this food. I was so determined to do his ass in that I didn’t even know he was home. I would’ve been caught. Thank you, God!” She thought as she patted the vile in her left pocket.

“I’m doing pot roast and roasted vegetables. Do you want a plate?” Eden asked as she tasted the well-seasoned gravy.

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