Page 125 of Secrets & Curses of Fate

“Haden, please,” I whispered as I stepped toward him. I found myself begging the heavens to bring her back, and I would take her place. I did not want to see Haden upset. I didn’t mean to hurt him or Mikel. I had ruined him. I had taken away everything from him in a desperate moment. My mate hated me.

“Leave!” he yelled. “I never want to see you again. My life will be better when you leave it for good.”

“But I did it because I love you. I’m sorry,” I sobbed.

“You think this is the act of someone who loves me? I don’t want your love, Ardella. I will never love you back. You are not worthy of me. You are the last woman I could ever love in this whole fucking realm,” he yelled. His eyes were filled with tears. “You have destroyed me,” he whispered.

His words made me stop talking.

He was right.

I didn’t deserve him.

I was a monster.

I ruined everything.

All I could do was watch him and Mikel beg Remiah to come back. My mate bond swelled with suffering, and I cried out at the pain it caused. My hand came up to grip my aching chest. Ifroze at what I saw on my arm, though. There were three black marks in the shape of stars that seemed to be seeping into my veins. The reality of what I had done to save Haden crashed around me. I was now marked by the heavens for treason against the gods. I had broken the divine law by betraying not only my brother, a fellow god, but my fated mate as well. This was the mark of somebody that would never be forgiven.

Haden’s hatred was my penance, and I would never be able to work off my sins. The heavens had decided that I was not worthy. Slowly, I was falling from the grace of the stars and into this hell I had built myself. What would happen when I finally hit the ground and shattered?

I glanced at Haden, trying to picture him smiling at me, but every moment I ever had with him was now tainted by what I had done. A breeze swept over us, and when I looked up, a cloaked figure stood at the tree line again. I could feel their eye upon me. They had to be the stars. The heavens sent them to deliver this message.

A sob broke from me because I was now on borrowed time. But what happens to a god when their treason catches up to them? I looked at Haden once more, begging silently for him to look back at me, but he refused to meet my eyes. This was punishment for what I did 300 years ago. The stars gave him back to me to use him as punishment.?

He was never going to be mine to keep. I cried to the stars to let me make this right. Whatever the cost, I would pay it.

Please look at me. Please don’t hate me. I cannot lose you again, Haden.

He didn’t. Haden watched Mikel hold Remiah and sob into her unmoving chest. Mikel’s screams and sobs would be burned into my mind for the rest of my life. I closed my eyes, trying to get rid of the heartbreaking, soul-crushing sounds.?

“Leave!” Haden’s voice forced my eyes to open.?

I took a step toward him; my bond was desperate. Haden’s hands came up and made a wall of ice so thick and tall that I could not get through it. My heart shattered as I realized I would not get through to him. How could he ever forgive me?

I used my star mist and disappeared, intending to leave his life for good. When I landed on my knees in my bedroom, a violent scream tore from me as our mating bond tried to break. No, no, no. I gripped the mating bond between us and willed it to stay in place. If you break this, I will find a way to bring it back,I warned the heavens.?

There was a wrath burning so violently inside of me that I could not stop my threat.

“I will turn my back on everything for him, I fucking swear it!” I yelled. “If you take this, I will destroy everything to get it back!”

The bond immediately stopped tearing and calmed down. I was filled with so much rage as I looked around. How fucking dare the heavens do this to me. I had always followed the rules and laws, and now I had lost my mate twice. My magic was swirling inside of me. Wind whipped around the room, and lightning struck the ground outside.?

Papers flew from the desk as the wind knocked it on its side. My letters from over the years flew around me, mocking my pain. My head hung low at the realization of how badly I had hurt Haden. Not just him, though. Mikel too. I broke Mikel. I was so fucking angry with myself. I tried to not lose Haden, and I ended up losing him anyway.?

I fell to the floor on my side, unsure if I was destroyed beyond repair this time. How could I survive this again? Not only that, but how did I mourn a man who was still alive when I knew I did not get another chance? The stars and heavens fucking hated me, and I didn’t understand why. Was I cursed for what I had done 300 years ago?

The heavens did not forgive me for saving Haden.

“Why did you give him back to me if you were angry with me?” I asked the stars and heavens.We give too much power to the stars.Avesh’s words circled my mind. But I needed someone to blame. The stars had taken Haden from me twice, and now I knew he would hate me for existence because I had claimed him.

Haden wouldn’t be able to die ever again. I had cursed him with a lonely, pain-filled existence because I was a selfish woman. Tears fell from me as I lay on my floor, surrounded by the letters of a heartbroken woman who could never make this right.?

Haden was not mine.?

He hated me.

I hated myself.?

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