Page 20 of Basil

“I am,” he insisted.

“No,” I moaned. “No,” I echoed on a whisper.

Now, I did step away from him, and he let me.

I sniffled and turned to face him, hated the agony in his eyes. I didn’t want him to hurt. I loved him, and it sucked to see him like this. There was no sense of vindication, nooh now he feels how I did. Love didn’t work that way.

“You didn’t fight forus. You didn’t fight forme.”

He closed his eyes briefly and then laid himself bare to me. “I know, and I hate myself for it. Summer, give me a chance and?—”

“I’m a foster kid, Basil,” I cut him off, my voice quiet, but still landing like a hammer between us. “I can’t give second chances. I trust with a great deal of difficulty, and I willnevertrust you again.”

His eyes went glassy, rimmed with unshed tears.

“Go, be happy. And let me be happy, too.” I blew out a breath and gave him a travesty of a smile. “You weren’t happy with me.”

His face crumpled. “I’ve never been happier than when I was with you.Never. Losing you is like a fucking throbbing wound that won’t stop bleeding no matter what I do.”

He cupped my cheek and wiped tears away with a thumb. “You didn’t deserve how I treated you.Wedidn’t deserve how I didn’t protectus.”

I stepped back. He dropped his hand.

“And now, it’s done.”

A broken inhale slipped past his lips and then he gave me a sad smile. “I don’t think so, baby. We’ll never be done. What we have is special.”

“Is it?” I sobbed softly, my chest heaving with emotion. “You didn’t act like it was. If you can only see the value of something once you lose it, then you don’t deserve to get back what you lost.”

“You do if you work hard todeserveit.” He reached for me, just the barest movement, but I backed away once more.

I walked to the counter, he followed me. I grabbed the box of his things, and shoved it into his arms.

“That’s all your stuff.” I couldn’t keep the tremor or the tears out of my voice. But what was there to hide? I was heartbroken, that was nosecret.

He hesitated, gripping the box so tight his knuckles turned white.

“Now, go,” I urged.

He studied me for a long moment and then finally nodded. “Okay, Sunshine.”

He walked slowly to the front door but when he reached it, he looked back, his expression wrecked, his voice thick. “I’ll do whatever it takes todeserveyou, Sunshine. That’s a promise. I’m not lettingyougo, baby. I’m not lettingusgo.”

With that he left, and I crumpled to the floor and cried until I ran out of tears.

9

THESE ARE MY FRIENDS

SUMMER

Iwaved a bundle of sage through the air, the earthy scent curling around the room.

“Out,” I muttered under my breath, moving through my shop. “Out with the bad energy.”

Meadow snorted from the counter, where she was flipping through a magazine. “Are you trying to sage Basil out of existence?”

I sighed, lowering the bundle. “I wish it worked that way.” Despite my fury—despite knowing that walking away had been the right thing—I still missed him.

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