Page 85 of And They Were Roommates

His nerves spread to me as the sound of waves fills the uncomfortable silence. I wipe his forehead, and his face contorts from the near-freezing water. Inspecting him this closely, all I can think about is the dejected face I saw after he’d apologized for not realizing how I felt. How, eventually, he realized howhefelt. How he’s been sleeping on Xavier’s floor since.

I bite the inside of my cheek. “I’m sorry.”

Jasper’s eyes flutter back open, blue and shining.

“About what I said last night,” I say.

“What… specifically?” His voice is breathier, dazed, like he’s in disbelief. Does our past meanthismuch to him? “You said a lot.”

I hesitate. I hate that I do. I’m in high school—an Excellence Scholar—and still don’t know how to express how I feel? “Specifically, about never wanting to forgive you.”

“What did you want to say?”

“That I think I need time. I believed you left me behind on purpose for so long. And if I’m being honest, that summer shaped a lot of who I am today. So.”

A pained expression crosses his face. “Like how you feel about romance.”

“I guess.”

“Right.”

The vulnerability becomes too much, and the need to puff up my shoulders and stop anything more from leaking out of my mouth consumes me. “Romance is a scam whether or not that summer happened. But. You know.”

“Of course.” It’s obvious Jasper is holding back a grin, but Iprefer that over how he looked before. “I’ll be honest with you too. About why I came over here.”

“Yeah, why were you at the piano gazebo? You play the piano?”

“No, I was just walking by. I saw you slip off that roof, so I rushed over. But I suppose I saw you and Luis before that.”

“You were watching us?”

“You guys seemed alone, and together, and close, and I thought you two were, perhaps—” He shakes his head, stuffing his hands in his peacoat and staring at the sand.

“What?” My logic kicks in. “Oh.”

“Which is fine.”

“We weren’t. He likes someone else, I think.” But Jasper shouldn’t care.

Jasper smiles. “I see.”

It’s not like I’m his long-lost love anymore. That’s impossible. I’m not who I used to be.

My brain sparks with confusion as I bend over to wash the raw egg out of my blazer, then move on to his rosy cheeks. The curve of his chin. “Sorry for the cold. And the eggs.”

“It’s all right. I probably needed to be humbled after last night.”

My laugh morphs into a humiliating snort. I cover my face, which reminds me that I should’ve probably been standing farther away. Jasper has been able to pick apart the intricacies of my face this whole time. How didn’t I realize?

Jasper’s upper lip hitches. “Do you find me that much of a comedian?”

“No. Please don’t get a bigger head.”

Jasper laughs. He leans forward. Closes the distance.

My body stills as his hand lifts toward my face. His thumbdrags across my forehead. “Sorry,” he mutters. “I got some egg on you.”

My face flares so hot, it’s dizzying.

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