Page 51 of Unbound

I can't help laughing softly, which earns me a stern look from Sestra. We all sit back in place and resume working on our spells, but my mind is spinning with a thousand thoughts, making it hard to concentrate.

Confluence Day is only three days away. I still have no idea why those instructors were talking about siphons. I don't know if Malakai is planning to get revenge for what happened, or if he's going to avoid me now that he knows what I'm capable of.

And it doesn't even end there.

The more I read of the unbound book, the more it dawns on me that Bastian read all of this too. He knows all of this about me and more. Considering he's supposed to be reporting back to his father in some kind of important council, I have to wonder if he has mentioned me.

From what I'm reading, I know enough to say that would mean deadly consequences for me.

And Raith… I'm still pissed from our encounter in the middle of the night. I know he doesn't owe me anything, but it stings to think he could even imagine I'd be working with Malakai—that I'd be helping to murder people. The accusation burns like acid in my chest, all the more painful because part of me had started to trust him. An even smaller part of me had started to think he cared about me. Worried about me.

Stupid. I see that much now.

The rest of the classes pass in a blur as my thoughts twist and turn over everything that has happened and is yet to come. I'm the first one to the common room in the water tower after Military Tactics because I can't find an appetite tonight.

I take a spot on a large, comfortable couch by a window lined with decorative silver filigree. A magically blue-tinged fire burns in the hearth beside me, warming me even as the night’s chill seeps through the castle walls. By some miracle of magic, the water that always runs down the walls here has started to get warmer, and now it gives off wisps of steam as it runs down the walls, heating the tower slightly.

I itch to read my unbound book as I wait for the others to show, but I know it would be insanity to pull it out here. I only read the book at night when Mireen is asleep or on nights when she's out sharing someone else's bed. Thankfully, she doesn't ever bring her partners to our room.

Older students come in and disappear up the side stairs that lead to the private sections of the common room. I see a few aspirants and legacies also passing through the general common room to their private areas as well. There are only a handful of other first-year water offerings in the room, and they're clustered together on the far side with books spread out, studying for one of many upcoming tests.

It's half an hour before Mireen, Beck, and Ambrose have all joined me. Mireen sits beside me, offering to fix my braid—which was nearly pulled out of my head during sparring this morning. Beck and Ambrose take the single seats opposite our couch, leaning in, eyes and faces intent.

"Okay," Beck says. He glances to his side, seeming to confirm the others in the common room aren't close enough to listen in. "Spill it."

And I do, though I omit a few choice details. I tell them about Malakai's attack and the giant creature. I even tell them how it healed my wound and saved us with a raft of water magic. I don't talk about the powers I used, admit I sort of saved Malakai's life, or tell them the creature had already been visiting me in my nightmares for weeks.

But the story is sensational enough that they don't seem to sense I've left anything out.

Ambrose sits back, a crease forming between his brows as he taps his chin in thought.

Beck lets out a low whistle, giving me a look like he's seeing me for the first time.

Mireen's pace as she braids my hair slows and eventually stops as the story hits the most dangerous parts.

"Gods, Nessa," Mireen says. "I thought all the stories I was hearing were bullshit. People were even talking about it in the dining hall. Someone said you gave Rector Voss the finger as you rode away on a water dragon."

I grin. "I’ve never even seen the Rector, let alone made vulgar gestures at him.”

"So Malakai was just… on the raft with you when you woke up?" Beck asks. "Did he try to come at you again?"

I consider lying, but I think my friends deserve to at least know what we're dealing with when Malakai is concerned. "He… seemed to think I saved him, somehow."

Beck tilts his head. "But you didn't."

"No," I say quickly. "Not exactly, at least." I sigh as their faces darken. "I managed to kind of snare him to the lake floor during the fight. When I saw the creature coming for him, I just couldn't bring myself to keep him trapped. I know he has done terrible things. I know he's a terrible person. But… there wasn't time to think. Some part of me just didn't want to be involved, so I let the spell go. I honestly thought we were both dead anyway, and maybe I didn't want my last act to be helping somebody die a terrible death, I—” my voice cracks and I realize how fast I've been talking. My hands are trembling in my lap and my throat feels raw with guilt. Of all the secrets I'm holding from my friends for their own safety, this isn't one of them. Even as shame threatens to overwhelm me, it feels good to let it out.

Mireen gives my arm a soft squeeze. "Hey. This place brings out the worst in us. I think Malakai deserved whatever he was about to get, but you can't blame yourself for wanting to be a bit of light in all this darkness. And we certainly don't blame you for it. Right?" She looks at Beck and Ambrose, who bulge their eyes and shake their heads quickly.

"No," Beck says. "Don't blame you one bit. So you're not a murderer. Big deal. We still like you."

"I think it's admirable," Ambrose agrees. "Maybe your mercy will make Malakai reconsider the way he's been acting."

"I don't think so," I admit. "The last thing he said was how nothing between us changed.”

"Asshole," Mireen mutters. She looks like she wants to hunt him down and drown him herself, and I love her just a little more for it.

There's a lull in the conversation before Ambrose leans in closer, eyes lit with interest. "The creature you saw... what did it look like, exactly?"

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