Page 41 of Control's Undoing

“Come sit down, Xavier,” Colum demanded.“Nothing worse than someone hovering.”

Xavier started for the chair, but Colum shook his head, pointing to the opposite side of the couch.It wasn’t a particularly large one, so the three of them would be close.Annie wasn’t sure if that would make it easier or harder for her to tell her story, as her body tended to short-circuit her brain whenever they were in close proximity.

Somewhat to her surprise, Xavier obeyed Colum’s silent command, doing so without a cutting comment.He sat next to her, sideways on the couch, so that he was looking right at her, his arm looped behind her, resting on the cushions.It reminded her of this afternoon, and her gaze drifted down to the small bruise that had formed on his cheek, barely visible given his beard.Both of her guys were sporting bruised faces.

Her guys.She was suddenly wishing that was real.The initial attraction she’d felt toward them was morphing into fondness as well.Part of her hoped they found the rest of the manuscript quickly; otherwise, saying goodbye to them at the end of this would be painful.

“I went to work for the agency right out of college.Got my bachelors in poli-sci and completed the training.I was actually recruited to join the Trinity Masters by one of my superiors at the agency.”Annie could still recall the day Devon Asher called her into his office and opened her eyes to a whole new world.She’d been thrilled and honored by the invitation to become a part of the secret society.“I was assigned to some of the agency’s most high-profile counterterrorism operations because of my skills in cyber intelligence and psychological operations,” she explained.

“Sounds dangerous.”Colum reached out, taking her hand.She relished the warmth and the concern behind it.

Annie shrugged.“It was, at times.During one particularly difficult mission, I was assigned to infiltrate a dangerous arms network that was linked to a terrorist cell.”

“Jaysus,” Colum whispered under his breath.

“One night, the situation became volatile.The extraction team had been misinformed about the situation on the ground, so they launched a tactical strike.Several innocent civilians were killed, including…” Annie swallowed deeply, struggling as always to say the next part.

Colum squeezed her hand.“Go on, missis.”

She gave him a sad smile.“A young family I’d grown close to was killed.Mehdi and Farah had been married five years, but they still acted like newlyweds.They were so in love.Their daughter, Friya.”Annie’s voice broke.“She was only two when…” She couldn’t finish the story, tears stinging the back of her eyes.

“Annie,” Xavier said, wrapping his arm around her shoulder.“I’m so sorry.”

“The worst part was the agency considered the mission successful because we’d gotten the intel we were seeking.Meanwhile, Mehdi and his family were classified as collateral damage.No two-year-old is collateral damage,” she said hotly.“After that, I grew disillusioned with my career and disgusted by all the ugliness in the world.I slipped into a dark place.”

Xavier’s finger brushed her hair in a featherlight touch.“Without darkness, we take the light for granted.”

“I’ve spent some time in that dark place as well.I’m glad you found your way out.”Colum sighed, running his hand over her hair, looking at her with something she could only describe as adoration.“You’re always so happy and smiling, just like Jo—” Colum stopped abruptly.

Annie waited for him to continue, but when it became apparent he didn’t intend to, she asked, “Just like who?”

“That’s not important right now.Go on with your story.How did you find your way out of the dark place?”Colum asked.

Annie glanced at Xavier, bumping her shoulder into his chest.

“Art?”he guessed.

She nodded.“I continued to work at the agency, but it didn’t bring me joy.I’d lost my passion for it.One day, while I was taking a walk, I passed an art museum.I’ve always loved art.My mother got me one of those huge art books for Christmas one year when I was a teenager.It was filled with pictures of famous works, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve flipped through the pages of that thing over the years.It might shock you to hear this, but I was pretty high-strung when I was younger.The kid who always put too much pressure on herself to get straight A’s, to hold an office in all the clubs, to be captain of the volleyball team.Whenever I was stressed out about a test or feeling overwhelmed by my extracurriculars, I’d pull out the book and lose myself in the beauty.”

Xavier clearly understood.“Anyone who hasn’t seen true ugliness cannot comprehend the beauty of a soul made material in a piece of art.”

Annie smiled.“On a whim, I bought a ticket and went into the museum.I walked around for hours, feeling lighter than I had in months.There was a bench in front of one of the larger paintings.I’d been drawn back to it several times during my tour, so I sat down, wanting to spend more time with it.

“A man approached me and made an interesting comment about the composition.We spent the next hour discussing every aspect of the work, from the brushstrokes used, to the colors and shading, the history of the painting, the life of the artist, and the emotions it evoked.At the end of our conversation, we finally introduced ourselves, and I learned that Rafe was the director of the museum.I left that day feeling a million pounds lighter…until I returned to work.”

“So you kept working at the agency?”Colum asked.

She nodded.“Of course.For better or worse, it was the career I’d chosen, the one that was paying the bills.But I also kept going back to the museum.On my second visit, I bought an annual pass, and within fifteen minutes of arriving, I ran into Rafe again.We walked together for a little while, then chose another work to discuss.Talking to him about art became my therapy.Whenever I felt myself being sucked down into the muck of my everyday life, I went back to the museum.

“On our fourth ‘chance run-in’,” she finger-quoted the words, “Rafe admitted he’d asked his staff to call him whenever I showed up.Said he enjoyed our talks and was enthralled by my insights.He was the first to suggest I’d missed my calling, that I should have pursued a career in the art field.”

“It would have been better had he encouraged you to create your own art,” Xavier said haughtily.“Not be part of the commodification machine.”

“Don’t let him distract you,” Colum jumped in.“Finish the story.”

“I went back to the museum whenever I was home.It became a priority for me, so I typically managed to visit once or twice a month.That went on for nearly a year.Unfortunately, my last mission with the agency kept me out of the country for two months.When I returned to the States, my first stop was the museum.I asked to see Rafe.”Annie paused.This was why she didn’t look back.Telling this story reopened wounds that were too hard to close again.

“What happened?”Colum asked, shifting closer, his grip on her hand firm, unrelenting, comforting.

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