Page 100 of Forget Me

27

MATEO

“Oh.”I stopped at the door to Miguelito’s normally empty workout room. It wasn’t unoccupied today.

My cousin grunted at me from the leg press. Sweat darkened the neckline and underarms of his gray tank and dripped down his square jaw. His arm and leg muscles weren’t as big or defined as mine, but I put in double the time in the gym since my job was to look intimidating. At his job, he intimidated his opponents through his superior smarts.

Early mornings, he always worked out at the gym at the office. Even though he had a better gym in his house.

I knew why he liked to work out at the office. Boy-scout Cooper Fallon wanted to set a positive example of fitness for his employees. He wouldn’t require them to exercise; no, he just went in every weekday, did his workout, complimented them on their form, and then carried on with his day on the sixth floor.

I didn’t need that role-model shit. Not from him. Not today.

Today was day ten of my post-Mimi life, and I was still enjoying being pissed-off and grouchy and alone.

I dropped my bag on the floor, then stripped off my hoodie and flung it on top. I stalked to the mat and started a set of burpees.

While I warmed up, I didn’t think about the appreciative way Mimi used to trace the outlines of my muscles. I didn’t think about how I’d used my upper body strength to support my weight while I’d surged over her, driving into her the way she liked. And I definitely didn’t think about how she’d appreciated my body right up to the point she decided she wanted someone with a brain, someone who could figure out her complicated rules about achieving her goals on her own when all I wanted to do was help her.

That someone definitely wasn’t me.

When I finished the set, I walked in a circle to slow my heart rate. I wiped sweat from my forehead.

Exercise was easier since I’d stopped smoking. My heart rate was lower. I breathed deeper. It all irritated me. Not quite enough to take up smoking again, but I wished Mimi hadn’t changed my life. I already spent too much time agonizing over the photo of us on my phone, the one where she wore the sequined dress and I kissed her neck, a look of blissed-out contentment on her face. I didn’t need another reminder blinking on my fitness watch.

“Something you want to talk about?”

I hadn’t realized Miguelito’s machine had stilled until he spoke. He leaned forward, elbows on his thighs.

“Nah, I’m good.” My muscles were warm and ready, and I glanced at the weight rack.

“Go ahead. Load it up. I’ll spot you.”

“But you—you’ve got to go to work. I’ll just use the machine.” I waved at his fancy chest press.

“I’m going in a little later today. It’s fine.” He stood and walked to the weight rack.

I hated wasting his valuable workout time arguing, so I did as he asked. I loaded the weights onto the bar, then I faced it, curled my hands over the bar, and lifted it from the rack while my cousin stood beside me, arms crossed.

Starting my reps, I bent my knees then pressed the weight up until my arms were straight. I lowered it until it hovered above my aching heart.

“Primo”—I almost dropped the weight; he hadn’t called me that since we were kids—“are you, ah, happy?”

“What the fuck, Lito? We don’t talk about that shit.” I pressed up again.

“We used to. We used to talk about a lot of shit back when we were teenagers and Mamá and I visited the island. Guys. Girls. Hopes and dreams.”

I snorted. “Yeah. You actually achieved your hopes and dreams. And here I am, working as—” I froze, my arms extended, until they trembled. I lowered the bar onto the rack and blinked at his stony face. “I mean, I like working for you. I didn’t mean—”

“Do you really? Like working for me?”

“I do.” I shook out my trembling arms. “I love watching out for tía. Making sure she’s safe. I feel…useful.”

“You don’t want more?” He cocked his head. “A more impressive title? Or more education so you can get an office job?”

“An office job?” I shuddered. School had been hard enough. I couldn’t imagine sitting at a desk hunched over a computer keyboard every day. “Why would I want that?”

“To”—his eyes darted to the open door of the workout room—“to impress Mimi?”

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