Page 96 of Forget Me

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MIMI

Me: U up for drinks tonight?

I wincedas I hit send, then I shoved my phone face-down on my desk like that could erase my pathetic cry for help.

Bree was probably busy doing couple things with Josh tonight. And I shouldn’t need her support. I’d ended a fake relationship. There were no actual feelings in a fake relationship. I was fine.

That was a lie. Actually, two lies.

Guilt squeezed my heart. I’d never meant for Mateo to develop real feelings. But the pain in his eyes, the way his voice broke when he’d told me he couldn’t keep pretending, had cracked through me like lightning and split open my shriveled, black heart.

Though guilt had never felt like this, so crushing, like Thanos’s fist.

Was it only guilt? I mean, sure, I cared about Mateo, but I hadn’t actually loved him.

Had I?

My monitor blinked to black, and I hurried to move the mouse to wake it up again. I was supposed to be working. There was no space for emotions at work.

Hands-down, that was the best part of work. Being busy. Checking things off my list. Focusing on the black digits on my white spreadsheet.

I stared blearily at my screen. What had I been doing, again?

Relief tingled through me when my phone buzzed.

Bree: YES! Raisa’s at 6?

Me: C U then

“Mimi.” Monique’s voice behind me made me drop my phone.

I whirled in my chair to face my boss. “Hey. What’s up?”

“Have you finished those journal entries?”

My cheeks flamed. I’d been staring into space for at least ten minutes before I’d texted Bree. I couldn’t afford to do that so close to month-end.

“Sorry. Just another twenty minutes or so. I’ll send you a message when they’re done.”

Her forehead creased. “Are you all right, Mimi? You seem…off.”

“I’m fine.” I tried to give her a reassuring smile, but my face didn’t seem to be working.

“I talked to Jackson. He said you’ve been burning the candle at both ends helping him with his foundation.”

She’d talked to Jackson Jones about me? Shit, did that mean she was disappointed with my performance? Was I about to lose my boring-but-stable job?

“It’s fine. I’m handling it.”

“Mimi.” She stepped further into my cube and lowered her voice. “I know you’re handling it. You’re a superstar in this department. But I worry that you’re trying to do too much between Synergy and the foundation. You’ll burn out.”

My heart tripped in my chest. “No. I’m good. Synergy is my top priority, and month-end is on track. The gala is in two weeks, and after that, I promise I’ll have more time to spend at work.”

“That’s not what I’m saying, Mimi. I’m saying you need to take care of yourself. Or find someone to do it for you. Like that handsome security guard you were talking to the other day.” She winked.

I knew she meant to be friendly, but her words stabbed like a sharpened pencil into the raw, cut-open part of me that had opened up when Mateo had shivered, naked in the doorway of his guesthouse, and told me to go.

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